More Than A Miracle

Photo Credit: United Bible Societies

I scanned the bookshelf seeking out the titles, in search of the next book to read. I had finally finished Michelle Obama's 'Becoming', a book that has left me profoundly challenged and also, probably caused a new side of me to emerge. 

I had opened it up not knowing what to expect but each word, phrase, sentence, paragraph, chapter and part of the book reinforced the reality of the world we live in. 

A world that defines and classifies you from the day you are born, based on the colour of your skin, gender, social class and creed. A world of complexities, pain, juxtapositions and ironies. A world which offers you the option of fight or flight. A world that is both harsh and warm, depending on the perspective you choose. A world that can also be better maneuvered with the gift of family and a community of encouragers. Voices nudging you on in the face of challenges, helping you on your feet, keeping you steady and pulling you back up when you stumble or fall.

While I would never understand the struggle of being black and female in the America Michelle grew up in, I would say that I am grateful to her for sharing her story because while her achievements are enough evidence that anyone can rise, knowing that she had every reason not to would be great consolation on dark, difficult days. She emphasizes the importance of education as the tool to helping you find your voice and the major vehicle to a better reality.

Her story tells me that even the 'Greats' are just like me, sometimes unsure and terrified and do not always feel qualified.

Unlike me though, they have managed to make a mark in the world and reading their stories make me question my purpose in the world. 

I have spent about three decades on earth and I am clear minded enough to know that purpose isn't tied to one thing. I have also been bold enough to not put a label on myself and have given myself the grace to take up different roles - even when I didn't feel qualified to handle them.

Still some niggling questions remain. 

Am I doing enough? Are there people apart from my immediate family who would go out of their way to keep me safe? Have I impacted or invested enough in anyone to make me immortal in their minds? What more can I do?

I have held myself from a lot of things out of fear and I have also lurched forward and taken the bull by the horn at other times. But, sometimes I fear that I have not exercised enough faith and courage to be all I can be.

Sometimes I fear that I would leave this earth and not do all I was created for or explore the amazing possibilities and opportunities that could be birthed through me.

Sometimes, I feel small. For this reason I am always grateful for encouragers & nurturers. Those who take time from their own life just to nod and say to me "never doubt yourself." My personal gospel choir, voices which though not all sonorous call out the deep inside of me.

As I scanned the shelf, I picked up 'Soar' by Bishop T.D. Jakes but I put it back on the shelf as I have done many times. I just feel not ready to read the book.

I scanned once more and my eyes fall on the title 'More Than A Miracle'. The author Chinwe Ezeanya autographed and gifted me this book in December 2018. I had gone to interview her on the story of her son Diken'agha Yobanna Nadim Victory Ezeanya - now eleven years old. Dike is the first baby to survive Biliary Atresia - a congenital Liver disease - in Nigeria (other Nigerian children who have survived it, didn't live in the country). She had to donate her Liver for a transplant that was done in India and her baby survived against the odds. This birthed the idea for the book.

I am set to read it almost one year after owning it and as I scan the pages, I am certain that it will be not just educating and insightful, it will open me up to a higher level of loving - sacrificing unto life and a determinism to protect the eternal bond of family.

I hope though, that it will serve as a reminder that I have not done badly and that for every story like Chinwe and Dike's that I have told as a Journalist, I have made a mark in the world.

I hope also that I have been more than just a daughter, sister, friend, colleague, neighbour, aunt and human to those I have met on this journey called life.

I hope that someone, somewhere, someday would think of me or maybe even call me up just to say "for what it's worth, you have been a miracle...and even more".

I hope.