Osarugue: The Bini Girl That Defies The Narrative

Edo/Bini girls are vindictive, quarrelsome, fetish and plain evil so much that offending one of them is like signing your death warrant, serious wahala! You have probably heard or read this narrative sold of girls from Edo state and each time I see this I react - every single time. I scoff, shake my head and speak up to say it’s dubious and untrue.

The authors of that narrative may be speaking from their experience and it may be unfair to fault them but there is always the one percent of every demography. The group that do not fit the narrative, they are a different breed and would make nonsense of your theory and each time I read those tales, I always think to myself “have they met all Bini girls? Have they met my Osarugue?”

My Osarugue is of that one percent of the one percent, of a different breed, not your regular.

She not only defies the narrative sold of Edo girls but of the generality of women. 

Dear Osarugue,

In a world where people change like seasons, you have been a steady one & not even distance has changed us. You have been a real one, firm as a rock, unflinching in your loyalty and commitment, and choosing us even when it gets hard. 

It’s been said that women cannot stay together without having a fight and falling apart but when we did, you managed to hold it all together even when I seemed to be losing it. We have prayed together consistently, weekly for years against the odd of distance and time difference and I thank you for your consistency and support even through tough times.

 

I never saw the need for the National Youth Service Corps scheme and half-heartedly went to the orientation camp but it was in that camp at Kaiama, Bayelsa state that I found the gift of you. You came to my aid then and I thank you for being here for me over a decade after. I thank God for the privilege of having you as my friend, Sister, prayer partner and burden bearer. Thank you for making me laugh on difficult days, thank you for checking on me till I am okay.

You will live to fulfill God’s dream for you and nothing will cut short your life. I wish you grace to stand firm through life’s seasons and love through the journey.

Uncle Nosa is blessed to have you as his wife, most privileged to be loved by you, and your sons are favoured to have you as their mother.

Happy birthday my loyal, honest, passionate, strong, industrious and funny friend, we will celebrate many more years together.

Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me, maybe I'm amazed by you but I do love you with my heart Babe and I am counting the days till we see. God bless you beautiful one, the Bini girl that defies the narrative.

Love,

Okiemute.

Like Purple, Be Regal, Authentic and Unforgettable

Your sincerity, your genuineness, your passion, be known for these things. Be the one who takes on a task, does it with heart and finishes it excellently such that long after you are gone, even the critics will say “she/he was one of a kind”. 

Be known for your ability to represent people well, so that if they have to trust you with a venture they know you wouldn’t embarrass them by looking shabby, showing up late, getting drunk, rambling or getting into a fight.

Be known for the value you bring to friendships and relationships, that thing which makes you desirable in a way that beats onlookers because they would never understand why people still choose you despite your flaws.

Be known for your attitude and unbreakable spirit, your fortitude and the ability to press on even in the face of seeming defeat and unimaginable pain.

Be known as the one who gives all or nothing at all. Who wouldn’t say “I love you” unless you mean it and would keep your word and so you wouldn’t make a promise you wouldn’t keep.

Be known as the one who has a different spirit and though imperfect is unpretentious and reliable. The one who wouldn’t steal or tell a lie just to get ahead or curry favour.

Be known for your compassion, the one who makes life a little less harder for the people you meet and would rather keep shut than say words that hurts your neighbour.

Be open to new ideas - the bizarre, the odd, the unimaginable and even the seemingly abominable. Listen to them to help you make up your mind and maybe see things from the other person’s point of view.

Be open to new beginnings, opportunities to do and become better. Be open to new people and opportunities to start a new chapter and rewrite your story.

Take all that life has to offer, the sun and the sights and the music and the laughter. Go out into the world, see more with your eyes than from your phone or TV screen. Get the experience and share it, your experiences and your story.

Be like the colour purple, dark because it is made of two unlikely colours yet regal, noble, royal, spiritual, majestic, stylish, brilliant, evocative, rich, authentic, attractive, beautiful and unforgettable.

Be open to people, be open to life and dare to sometimes put away logic and just go with your heart. Chase new horizons, seek adventure, dare to dream, read, dance with heart and sing to your soul's delight.

Like Bob Marley said, turn your lights down low, pull your window curtains and let God’s moon shine in cos it will bring with it goodness, love and opportunities you never thought possible.