Adult Conversations At Work - Bananas Are Good For You

"Okiemute bite that Banana let me see."

It was Dan daring me.

I kept a straight face as I continued my perusal of the Letter of Invitation my Boss had handed to me, I had a Banana in one hand.

"Okiemute can you hear me?"

I looked up as he said "stop pretending to be serious o, bite that Banana."

I smiled as I looked at the Banana he had dared me to bite. I had peeled it but was yet to eat it. I made to eat it but couldn't.

Who knew eating a Banana could be this difficult?

These people have succeeded in polluting my mind o.

"Bite the Banana babe" Dan continued his teasing, at this point my other colleagues stood watching me.

I wanted to bite again but couldn't so I made to break the Banana. Who breaks Bananas? Everyone burst into laughter. You want to break it? Is that what you will do with Banana? Break it?

"I honestly can't eat this Banana anymore"
I said as I finally bit into it. The laughter continued and I joined in. My colleagues can be crazy and once in a while we have conversations like this.

I had bought Bananas and as they took a piece each the conversation started.

It was Kunle that first accused Betsy of liking Banana too much.
"The way you are eating this Banana, it's obvious you looooove Bananas" he stressed 'Love'.
"I can't do without it o", she responded.

Alesha joined in, "Who doesn't like Bananas? In fact what's sweeter than Bananas?"

"Bananas give the needed nutrient and strength to face the day", Betsy retorted and everyone laughed.

She added again, "I can't imagine going a day without it.

I wanted to ask if we were still talking about 'Bananas' but I kept shut as Alesha spoke up again, "another reason why I love Bananas is that there's a type for everyone. Curvy, smooth, straight, fat, long, short, you can have it anyhow you want it."

"Okiemute you really took your time to select these ones o, so healthy, strong, fat and fresh, just perfect. You must really know how to pick Bananas."

I simply smiled as I continued to stare the Letter even though at that point I knew I was no longer reading.

"Why are you smiling na, I'm complimenting you. It's obvious you are experienced with Bananas." It was Betsy speaking.

At that point Kunle said "All of a sudden Okiemute is serious o, acting like she can't hear you."

That was when Dan asked me to "bite that Banana."

As I ate my Banana Betsy advised "Babe please keep eating Bananas o, they are good for you" she winked.

Then Alesha started on how Milkshakes go well with Bananas.

"Have you tried a Milkshake just after eating good Banana? Like you really take your time to let it go down your throat?"
As she asked laughter erupted and the conversation about Bananas, milkshakes and everything in between continued.

All I could think of as I listened to their analogies was these ones are crazy and have indeed gone Bananas.

The next time I eat Bananas I will do well to eat it in the privacy of my house - I dare not say this out though because 'eat' and 'privacy' will surely be dissected.

I Had To Answer A Really Difficult Question Today

"Okiemute can you marry someone that has HIV?" I was taken aback and almost faltered, I didn't see that coming.

"I wouldn't answer yes or no to that question", I responded my face expressionless. I was trying hard not to stutter.

"You either will or wouldn't" he retorted.

"I can't just answer until I have to decide. There very many HIV negative guys that I will not even consider, so it's not just about the person's status. There are very many factors involved in choosing a partner."

He nodded, "That's true. So all things being equal, would you? Say you meet the man of your dreams today, he meets every criteria and the only issue is that he is HIV positive. Would you marry him?"

I paused for a second before I answered.

Before I share my response, let tell you what led to this conversation.
I had gone with a colleague for a meeting with an organization we had done a project on HIV with and as we were leaving we started a conversation with the Project Manager about the burden of HIV in Nigeria, I noted that until the government owns the fight, progress cannot be made.

"Imagine that 95% of the counterpart funding is contributed by donor partners and the 5% for our government is not even fully contributed. We are not ready" I said.

My colleague added quickly "And now these partners are pulling out"

"Exactly." I said and continued "I wouldn't blame them though because we still mismanage the funds contributed. We are not serious abeg."

I usually do not like having these conversations because it only leaves me worked up.

The Project Manager mentioned misappropriation of funds and stigma as a major challenge to the fight.

I nodded stating that self stigma is however worse than stigma from others.
He disagreed stating that until society treats people living with HIV as normal people, how they feel about themselves will not change.

That was when he asked if I would marry a man who is HIV positive to buttress his point that Stigma starts with society.

I paused for a second before I answered.

"I am open minded about the issue of HIV because I am well educated about it. I know that with strict adherence to medication one can become virally suppressed so even if they have unprotected sex their partner wouldn't contract the virus. So as I said I wouldn't say yes or no until I have to decide, I think I can though."

"Hmm" he said and added that some young people in Europe and the US now infect themselves with the virus just to know what it feels like.

You say what?

"I think that should be discouraged because what we want is an HIV/AIDS free world. WHO's projection is an HIV free world by 2030 so acting like having HIV is the new cool should be discouraged." I responded.
"But do you think an HIV free world is possible? With many young people having sex for money and many men willing to pay heavily for unprotected sex?" He asked.

I sighed.

"It will be difficult but I think it's possible."

We talked about several issues and shared experiences before the conversation ended.

As the conversation ended though another one began in my head.

I mean some things are easier said than done and when push comes to shove water usually finds it level - our nature betrays us.
The nature that usually betrays us in cases like this is that of 'self preservation', it is human nature to preserve self first. This may result in abandoning those who thought we would be there through thick and thin.

It takes a different level of faith, courage and refinement to go even where angels fear to tread.

So I'll ask you now, would you marry a person living with HIV?

Would you stay with your partner if you find out they are HIV postive?

Love Is For Fools, Would You be A Fool?

"Wise men say only fools rush in but I can't help falling in love with you"... 

Elvis Presley sang these lines years ago in his song 'Can't Help Falling In Love' and I had to download it again after I saw the movie 'Crazy Rich Asians'.

Great movie, beautiful cinematography, familiar story but beautifully interpreted, it also showed a different side to Asia as opposed to the 'Kung-fu' story that has been told for years. 

So back to the talk about love being for fools. It is true. 

Love is for fools. 

Love is for those who are willing to overlook faults they usually wouldn't put up with. Love isn't for wise people because the bitter truth about love is that this is easier 'said' than 'done'. Sometimes what life brings may be more than you bargained for causing to realize that you never loved 'enough'. 

This is what happened in the story I'm about to share. 

 I recently set out to do a report on the plight of children living with disability in Nigeria. I wanted to focus on access to education for them especially as the 'Disabilities Bill' is yet to be passed into law so I contacted a Doctor I worked with about 2 month ago and asked for contacts. He sent me the contact of another Doctor who sent me the contact of another who sent me the contact of a Man that volunteers with an NGO for people with disabilities. He in turn connected with someone else, whom I finally got to meet after about 2 weeks of communication and planning. 

He is a Speech Therapist currently working with child living with Cerebral Palsy. Most children we call Imbeciles actually have Cerebral Palsy, a condition that can be managed. I wouldn't focus too much on it so this post wouldn't be too lengthy but you can read about it. 

He told me his patient's family wouldn't mind sharing their story so I set out for an interview with them. That was when I met Abdul, a 15 year old boy with Cerebral Palsy. 

Abdul lives with his Grandparents who have done really well in managing his condition and so unlike other children Abdul can walk, use a computer, write, mop and run errands. He even took photos of me but he is still learning to talk. This isn't really the story. 

The story is about his parents - both Medical Doctors. Abdul's parents met many years ago and after a beautiful relationship, they got married vowing to be together for BETTER or WORSE. Until worse came. They had a baby - Abdul who has Cerebral Palsy and his was a third degree damage. 

His father disowned the child because according to him, "that cannot be his child." His mother however couldn't turn her back on her son and the marriage ended. The vows, promises made and oaths taken were quickly forgotten in the midst of life's challenges. This was more than was bargained for. 

To cut my story short, Abdul's Mum did her best to cater to her son until she died a few years ago, leaving Abdul with his grandparents. 

His father seem to have come around and is now trying to be a Daddy for Abdul but the past cannot be erased. He left the love of his life in the cold when she needed him the most. He couldn't keep his part of 'for better or worse'. He couldn't handle the challenge life threw at them. His love was either not enough or he never really loved at all. My only surprise is that he is also a Medical Doctor who should have known better. 

I am not saying it is that easy but that is what loving is, there are no guarantees. 

You chose a person and walk into a future not knowing what it holds. I guess it is why wise men say "only fools fall in love", it is because you can't be wise in love. 

It is a 'fool' that will not keep a record of wrongs.

It is a 'fool' that forgives and chooses to be there no matter what. 

It is a fool that makes sacrifice just to keep the other safe. 

You can't be wise in love because you will turn a blind eye to faults, deaf ears to talks and protect with your arms. 

Love is beautiful and may be the greatest gift you receive. 

It strengthens the weak and weakens the strong but its enormous benefits can only be enjoyed by those bold enough to 'become fools for love'.

P.S: Love and Stupidity are not the same.

Me, Feminist? Please Don't Insult Me!

"The Estrogen in the room was too much, I had to leave." It was my Boss talking.

I nodded in agreement. She was referring to a Conference we had attended - she as a Guest and I for work, to cover the event.

It was a Conference for women, 'to push the women agenda' - that's me quoting the convener verbatim - and to be honest, there were quite a number of influential women in attendance.

"I don't like being in places where too many women are gathered especially one where 'Feminism' will be the agenda." She added and continued.
"I don't believe in Feminism because I think it is a result of self-loathing. I wasn't brought up as a girl but as a human being. As a child I had more male friends than female friends so where would the mentality of inferiority come from?"
"I am a proud Yoruba woman and where I come from women are treated with respect and as equal to men so I see no reason why I should start fighting to be respected. I think it's demeaning."

I nodded again and told her that while some cultures still subjugate women and see them as inferior to men, the feminist agenda may have been over stretched as some people do it with a band wagon mentality, not really sure why or what they are 'fighting' for.

I referred to a panelist at the event that said "if you are not militant about your feminism, then forget about it.

" In my head I thought, "Shuo, na so the matter serious reach? Wetin bring militancy come this matter now, abi na war?"

That's when my Boss went on to educate me with facts that buttressed my point.

She stated that the fight for equality in the United States of America started because it is 'statutory" for men to be paid more than women even when they do the same work, and that where a man and woman were both qualified for a role, the man is usually picked. This led to many women sitting at home and it's what birthed the fight for equal treatment of both gender - Feminism.

"So I don't understand the basis of our fight here especially when it is women that uphold some cultural practices put in place by men to maltreat women."
"I am not saying the fight for equality is irrelevant but it is women who shave a woman's hair when her husband dies and force her to drink the fluid used to wash his body. It is not men that do it."

She spoke up about a court ruling that will be given in favor of women inheriting property from their fathers in parts of Igbo land and added that the challenge with some of these practices is that our mentality holds us back.

"A female lawmaker who was amongst those that pushed for this law said her Uncle, a Professor dared her to come for her father's property even if a law is passed. So you see that even those who are educated still hold on to culture."

I noted that I believe some women are anti-feminism, they hate the fact that they are women and project that hate onto men. They already see themselves as inferior to men and as such tout the equality mantra every chance they get not really because they are marginalized. They just need to reaffirm their worth to themselves.

She went on to add that as a Boss, when a male is disrespectful she doesn't think it because she is female.

"I assume that they would have done that to a man and I respond in a way that let's them know I am the Boss - the human being in charge."

"I think calling me a Feminist is an insult, women in Yoruba land owned slaves years ago and did same businesses as men. I know some cultures still hold women back but I personally can't talk about fighting for equality."

She went on to quote lines from a Poem she had written on this subject matter and while a lot was said, in summary I think it would be best if we do not reaffirm the echoes of being the 'weaker sex' to our daughters.

I think the fight for Gender parity is good and we shouldn't raise girls to feel they have to go the extra mile to defeat their male counterparts. They shouldn't also start seeing boys as their rivals from childhood - what with the militant feminism talk?

Teach them the gift of work and importance of providing for themselves.

We should raise them to be fully formed humans who know that though they may not be physically strong as men, it in no way diminishes their strength neither does it make men their rivals. And that real strength is mental, you are as small, weak as your mind tells you - we should teach our boys and girls this.

We should also raise men who from childhood see women as human beings who though are of a different gender have the same capabilities and privileges as they.

We should raise boys that are not ashamed to show their weaknesses in front of girls.
Boys who would grow into the men deserving of our girls and girls deserving of our boys.

I think we should talk more about EQUITY instead of EQUALITY that way no boy or girl will be left behind.

Be Like Travis. Be Like Beyoncé.

The time was 6:56am. Four more minutes before I go on air with the news.

The DJ in the studio notified me that in 4 minutes I'd be live and added "I'll just play one more song and we are good to go, alright?"
I nodded and did a thumbs up to show that I got it.

Then the song came up. Travis Green was singing 'Nara' the one in which he teamed up with Tim Godfrey.
This song is currently on the list of most played/sung gospel songs in Nigeria and whenever it's played folks sing along with excitement because it is such a beautiful song of thanksgiving and also because an American is singing in Igbo language and he did it well - I'm not Igbo but I have heard Igbo people say he did well.

When I hear him though, I hear the voice of an Artist who is willing to push the boundaries, one who understands that leaving your comfort zone is the way to go if you must stand out, do, reach for and be more.
I imagine how long it to for Travis to learn to pronounce the words because even I still cannot sing them well
'Chukwu na gwom'oria le.
When You heal, You heal completely.
Narekele mo.
Chukwu mar'obimo Isi ikendu le.
Narekele mo'

Choi! I keep mispronouncing the words, telling myself it's the thought that counts. So I wonder how many nights Travis stayed up with Tim or any other tutor doing tutorials in Igbo language.

I imagine them laughing as he mispronounced some words while still learning.
I imagine him repeating the words over and over again till he got them right.
I imagine the time and effort put into giving us the gift we now enjoy.

It only takes one with a desire for excellence to deliver especially because most Nigerian Gospel artists in my opinion are lazy. I have more Gospel songs on my Playlist so I should know. Its almost as if they assume that since it's about praising God, saying Jehovah, Jesus or God and repeating one line over and again is good enough.
Tim Godfrey and Travis Green's 'Nara' is a good song and even though it's not entirely original, a lot of work and obvious dedication went into it. Little wonder it is the hit we all know it to be.

As I read the news that Sunday morning, I told myself I'll do my best to go over and beyond, raise the bar and push the limits in my work, relationships and life.
Like Travis if I have to learn to speak Swahili, Mandarin or Cantonese for my work, I will learn to speak it such that the natives will pause and turn in my direction - err, I'll need time to learn too.
For now I'll stick with English, Urhobo and Pidgin...na small small.

On a serious note, until you are willing to tread in unfamiliar territory you may just remain average.

God called you to do and be more!

I remember reading about Beyoncé's preparation for this year's Coachella.
She went on an animal free diet and became vegan, rehearsed for 11 good hours daily and hired about 100 dancers - talk about dedication to your craft. And after Beyoncé performed that night in April, Coachella was renamed 'Beychella'.

She put her name on it and dropped the mic!

She earned it by putting in the work, sheer hard work.

So today make a (re)commitment to be like Travis and Beyonce, get out of your comfort zone - in work, school, play, leisure, pleasure...life.

Go the extra mile. Reach for, Do and Be more!

Are You Ready To Become a Husband, Wife or Parent?

"This guy hit the nail on the head o."

It was my friend speaking as we both laughed at the meme I had shown him.

"How do they even think up these things?" I asked laughing.

"Honestly Nigerians are creative but the truth is this is one reason why some guys don't want to commit to marriage honestly." He replied.

"Is it that serious?" I asked.

"The expectations you have to live up to are scary. There are guys who don't even want to turn on generators but it's expected that they do it because they are the man of the house." He added.

"If he doesn't or cannot, he can pay someone to do all that na." I retorted still laughing.

Ironically I was also having a chat on Whatsapp with a friend who recently became a Dad and he was talking about how he had taken days off work but couldn't really rest as he had to be a Husband and Dad.

He had stayed up for most of the night tending to his baby who wasn't feeling well.

"What's it like being a Dad?" I asked.

"It's changes one's perspective, I’m now responsible for another human who cannot make choices for himself for a while. The innocence and naivety is refreshing."

He talked about how having faith like a child is powerful.

Then he added "He doesn’t even know I wasn’t really ready for him yet and I was a huge mess before and after he was born."

"You weren't ready?" I asked because by all standards he is very comfortable financially, cool, calm, very well read and educated - and married.

Let me add here that I'm not saying these are the criteria for being a Dad but I think it will be a good part of the 'Daddy Starter Pack'. Ehen na, abi?

Before he responded I added, "can one ever really be ready? Expectations and fantasy may be different from reality right?"

He responded that it's definitely different but that one can carefully consider it by observation and study.

He added again "it is important to be an educated parent, to be deliberately better than our parents because now that we’re adults, with the gift of exposure and hindsight, we can see gaps where our parents missed it. They did the best they could, but we have to do better because of the world we now live in. We can take parenting from the 80’s into the 2010’s or 2020’s."

I read his response a couple of times and I agree with him.
However, I still think that one can never be fully ready for the responsibilities that come with committing first to marriage and then becoming a parent.
I think so because every individual is unique and the future cannot be predicted. So the way A responds to a situation may not be the way B would respond, also life may throw a totally different challenge from anything you ever witnessed or expected.

I recall when a very dear friend got married.
When we talked she would say "Okiemute I can't believe my parents are doing this thing for almost 40 years. It's not easy o."

When I laugh, she would say "babe relationships and marriage are two different entities o, sometimes it's almost as if I'm dealing with a stranger and not the man I dated."

When she adds "my husband can hear me and he is saying I should stop talking as if he is maltreating me" I would laugh some more as I think "these two will definitely be alright."
Having never walked in her shoes, I do not say much but our conversation always ends with the decision to keep the vow of 'till death do us part'.

It's as All 4 One sang in 'These Arms' "darling the only guarantee I can make, these arms won't let your heart break".

I think this is the only guarantee we can give.

A parent can only decide that "no matter what happens, I'll be there for my child" and a spouse can only say it too "these arms will love you everyday and won't let your heart break", and through life's different seasons, try to keep the vow.

So I ask again, do you think you are ready to be a Husband, Wife, Parent?
Does one ever get ready for these roles?
Do you think one can never be fully ready and can only take a first step of committing to 'just do it' like Nike says and decide to keep that commitment?

If you are married, I would like for you to share your experience and if you are a parent, what was it like the first time?

Do you think you were ready?

Could you have planned better?

If you get a chance to start again, what would you do differently?

We And Not Politicians Are The Ones Who Should Change

I had an experience yesterday that made me think. 

A friend had been invited to a book launch/reading event and he asked that I join him. I fancied the thought as I was certain that an event like that would attract a crowd of intellectuals so we went for it.

Excerpts from the book being launched was read by the Author, a feisty yet subtle and intelligent lady and two other panelists.
The book is about politics in Nigeria and the political class. It sought to answer the questions of how we got here and how we can effect change in as a people.
After the reading, questions were taken from the audience - we were less than 70 and it was a gathering of young elites.

Opinions were aired and questions were asked and answered particularly about our history and as expected, about the next elections and how a change can be effected. The responses given were thoughtful, provocative and insightful.

But as the conversation continued, I realized that no one was asking "what next after this?"

We were admonished to not sell our votes but the people I saw in that hall are not the ones who would accept pittance in exchange for their votes.

There were conversations about the impunity with which the ruling class operated and also that the incentives for being in power has to be reduced to make elective positions less attractive.

It was also agreed that our history as a people is being privatized by the political elite and that certain truths were deliberately being omitted or said in halves to younger generations.

As I listened, I watched the audience and I knew that unless a plan of action is set after the conversation, most of us would go back to the comfort of our homes to continue sipping tea, coffee or champagne depending on our preference - or pocket size.

As I scanned the audience, I saw that the people in the room are only a minute number of our population and are less than 1% of those who would vote.
And while this conversation is important, the real people who should be addressed are on the streets unsure of their next meal, in rural and hard to reach areas without power and do not even watch cable TV.
They are mostly uneducated and not on social media so they know nothing about online banters, opinion polls and virtual elections being conducted on Twitter.
They are the ones who will sell their vote because the money received would at least buy them a week's meal.

As I pondered on this, I realized that I was getting angry. That's when I told my friend that I wanted to leave.
He tried to persuade me to stay and I really wanted to but I got up and left the hall when one of the panelists - a prominent young man - started talking angrily about how Nigerians were killed in the nation's capital and no one protested because they were Shi'ites.

I got up because the only question on my mind was "if you are this pained why didn't you start a protest?" It wouldn't have mattered if anyone joined him because then we would know he tried.

I left because we were being hypocritical, all of us.

No one sitting in that room has stood in the sun to protest bad governance and call for change. No one in the room has gone to hard to reach areas - villages in the creeks and across the Atlantic Ocean in the Niger Delta, villages in the middle belt where the mayhem caused by militias go uninhibited and unreported and war torn villages in the Northeast where people have become refugees and live in harsh conditions because of the insurgency.

I was angry because most of the people in that hall, cannot even relate with the struggles of the average Nigerian.
We are educated, dressed in nice and 'bespoke' clothes, carry designer bags, wear expensive perfumes and vacation in exotic places. We pay good money for hair, facials, manicure and pedicure. We like our comfort too much and you shouldn't blame us, we worked hard and still work hard for the life we want/have.

Even now I am angry because we cannot be like the Politicians we criticize.
Those ones and their cronies will go to the villages to fry Garri, roast corns, eat in mud houses and even fetch water from the well just to make the people there feel like they are equal.
Those ones will shamelessly put up pictures of these activities for the world to see.

They impoverish people and still exploit their poverty.
While we are playing 'not to lose', they are playing 'to win or die trying'.

I am angry as I think to myself that we are not ready for the change we seek because the ones who have held on to power for decades will not relinquish it subtly.
Big grammar will not do the work, our numbers are not large enough and we cannot tell people not to sell their votes because we will not give them food if they turn down the offers from politicians.

Until public schools are good enough for the middle class to attend, quality education will be the exclusive preserve of a few and if only a few get educated, only few will ask questions.

Conversations in cozy halls and enclosed spaces are good, debates on social media are great but we need to fight for equity first.

We should seek ways to solve problems of inequality and inequity in access to education, we must reach out to the vulnerable, poor, marginalized and excluded sector of society. If we try to solve these smaller problems then the big problems will be solved eventually.

For now though, I think we are yet to come to terms with the truth, which is that the change we seek will not come through mere dialogue.

I do not exactly know how it will come but there are many gaps to be bridged and until those gaps are bridged the elite youth will keep fighting in isolation. Read John 11:12.

Sometimes The One You Want Is The One You Can't Have

I just deleted the nudes a friend sent to me.

A lady he does not know had sent it with her number and he noted that this happens a lot.

"Have I acted or sounded desperate in anyway?" He asked.

I knew it was his British humour kicking in so I didn't bother with telling him that certain things come with being successful - you become a prey for desperate people who want all or at least a taste of what you have.

He responded with what I have come so used to hearing. It is me he wants and would pay any price to have. Any other alternative is simply annoying.

"Wanted you SO much! I'd have paid ANY price for it to be real. Still would." Is his response when I tell him to expect more nudes.

I have heard and known this for well over 5 years so much that I no longer get angry or end the conversation. I simply changed topic.

In another place and time it might have worked but now it wouldn't so as we conversed I recalled the saying 'the heart wants what it wants and there's no logic to it.'

I have learned that sometimes you can't explain why you are helpless when it comes to the way you feel about certain people even when they make it clear that they cannot be in your life.

Sometimes we want what we can't have and a few things hurt more than this because even if we go on to acquire material possessions and become 'wealthy' by the world's standards, there will be that void in our hearts that nothing and no one can fill. 

Being with the most sophisticated and gorgeous people wouldn't change the way we feel. And sometimes when we forget, just the sight of the person you have always wanted, triggers feelings that remind us once again of our helplessness with them.

I know people who are married but in their hearts have that one person they would give up everything for. It may seem foolish but sometimes that's what love makes us - FOOLISH mortals.

Love just doesn't care about your status or pedigree!

I have at certain points in my life wanted some people but to be honest, I look back and ask "what was I thinking?"

I honestly hope I never meet that 'ONE' person I want but can't have.
I hope I do not turn someday or walk into a room and see the one who captures my heart but would be forever elusive.
I hope that when I meet the one my heart wants at all costs, they are available and want me as much.

I hope it is the same for you.

I hope you do not miss someone else while you are with another.

I hope you do not settle with a person only to crave another's touch, kiss and warm embrace because I have lived long enough to understand that sometimes people settle for what is available in the absence of the desired.

If you want someone you can't have, it will hurt but please know that it in no way diminishes your worth.

I hope you understand that it is not your fault neither is it theirs, it's just life - some things can't be explained.

I also hope you find the courage and have enough faith to wait for 'what' you want and not settle only to have regrets later.

Most importantly, I hope that when you meet the one your heart wants at all cost, they want you too.

I hope they desire you as fiercely as you desire them, I hope the dependence is mutual and I hope they are willing to meet you halfway and fight to have that which is so rare today - a love that is cataclysmic yet tranquil, inexplicable yet reassuring, wild yet delicate.

A love that exists in an environment where criticism is given in a higher and judgement free environment, breaking your defenses yet protecting your secrets.

A love that strengthens you yet makes you vulnerable, supporting your growth while reminding you to reside in your truth and I hope you build a bond stronger than any blood tie, sealed with a commitment to complement each other's sweetness. 

I hope...

This November Don't Drop The Ball UNTIL...

A contact sent this to me via Whatsapp and I think it is thought provoking so I have decided to share it with you in hopes that it speaks to you and that you say it to yourself everyday UNTIL...

So this is what she wrote "The most determinative and motivating sentence which should always be followed in life. The RACE is NOT OVER because I haven't WON yet."

Powerful!!!

The year is almost ended and it's the time when most people throw their hands up, give up on their goals and decide to wait till next year to start again but you know what? You are not most people.

You will not give up.
You will not let life's pressure make you crumble. You will not throw in the towel and bow out of the race.
You will stay in the race because until you win, the race cannot end.

So what is it that you have set to achieve in your heart?
No goal is too big for you, no league is too much for you to fit in, you just have to keep working on yourself.

Michael Faraday the man known as the 'Father of Electricity' was an apprentice at a book-binding shop who trained himself by reading every book and encyclopedia on Electricity.
He developed himself without formal training till he eventually developed electromagnetism and electricity.
Though people already knew of electricity, it was Faraday who played a pivotal role in providing a continuous source of electricity. He changed the game and that is the power of personal development.

So this month you will develop yourself and keep getting better till you become too relevant to be ignored.
You will visualize all you want and will not lose the vision until it becomes reality.

This month you will remember that life's storms don't last always so you will swim in it UNTIL...

This month you will STAY in the race UNTIL you win.

Be patient with yourself, stay on your lane, do not compare to others, be patient with God, he is the Referee and he will guard you through.
He will not blow the whistle UNTIL you have won. 

Everything you want is possible, please believe me because you can never be greater than what you believe.

This November don't drop the ball UNTIL it gets in the net.

This November Let Your Noise Be JOYFUL!

It's the 11th month of the year 2018!

As we count down to the end of the year, make every day count.

Grab the opportunities life presents to you.
Eat.
Pray.
Love.
Stay thankful to God.
If you must make noise then let your NOISE be JOYFUL

Welcome to November!