The One Minute Man

One minute man.

You have probably heard or even used the phrase. It is used to describe a man who ejaculates too quickly during sex. 

It is a tag that says a man is incapable of satisfying his partner sexually. A tag capable of deflating a man's ego. A tag that in some quarters, puts a question mark on his 'masculinity'. It is a tag that no man wants, especially because it implies the risk of losing his partner. 

One minute man.

This phrase has birthed a very lucrative industry - that of sex enhancement products (pills, potions, tablets, toys etal). Products that promise miracles and wonders - in the other room.

Honestly, there's hardly ever a day that I do not stumble on an advert of a product - online and on the streets, that promises to make men last longer in bed. Sometimes the overall appearance of the people advertising these drugs on the streets make me fear for the man that is willing to risk trying their *concoction*. And if it does work, there's fear for the woman on whom the experiment would be performed. Sis, you are in for a looooooonnnnnng thing!

The one minute man tag is a weapon for some women. They brandish it during fights as if to say, one wrong move and I'll tell the world who you really are. This weapon is powerful enough to make even a Type A man hide the proverbial 'tail between his legs.' Because then the 'tail' would be what it is - just a tail, not good enough to deliver the expected. And if any such revelation is made public, he becomes just the 'one minute man', the one who talks a big game - his achievements and persona diminishes in the face of that tag.

I have realized though that this tag no one wants, is the tag we would all have to bear someday. We - men and women.

I say this because of an experience I had about a week ago, and it has nothing to do with sex.

It was an event that had major players in the health sector, Governors, an ex-Head of State, traditional rulers and other dignitaries in attendance.

During the course of the event, one of the speakers announced the death of a Doctor. The late Doctor was a Professor of Medicine who rose to become the Chief Medical Director of a tertiary health institution. He was the archetypal man who came, saw and conquered. He had passed on, in the early hours of that day.

As his death was announced, I heard gasps, sighs and exclamations in the hall. He was apparently deeply loved and admired or at least, was well known within the sphere of medicine.

The speaker spoke glowingly about him, and afterwards urged us all to observe a minute's silence in his honour. We all stood up and I began the count...1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10.....before I got to 30, he wished the dead man's soul a peaceful rest. I had been counting in my head and didn't know when I voiced out my thoughts.

"It's not even 30 seconds yet." I said.

The person sitting next to me responded immediately with "So you were counting too? I just thought so myself."

As we sat down, we bantered about how the 'minute silence' observance never really lasts up to a minute.

Our conversation was interrupted by the speaker who had begun cracking a joke. Laughter erupted from the audience and as I looked around the hall, it seemed like a different crowd. Everyone was gay and excited. It didn't seem like the same people who were sober less than a minute ago.

The hitherto mournful crowd had moved on from the Professor of Medicine and his many achievements.

I thought about his family - wife (if he was married), children (if he had any), siblings (if he had any) and maybe close friends. Those ones would not move on after just a minute's silence. Some of them may never even get over his death but every one would eventually move on. They would all find a way to cope. And he would become a memory. 

On that day however, in that hall, he became the one minute man that didn't even get up to a minute.

And someday, we'd all be him. Someday, somewhere, someone would talk about us and ask a group to observe a minute's silence in our honour.

You may not get up to a minute, but even if you would, I pray the day doesn't come too soon for you. 

I pray that you do everything you planned to do before that day comes. 

I pray that there are people who would spend much more than a minute, maybe all of their lifetime remembering you.

So if today you are the man who doesn't last more than a minute in bed, don't kill yourself my brother. Sex isn't food and even if it was, man shall not live by bread alone.

If you are a one minute man, you might need to stress less, exercise more, drink less alcohol and more water, stop smoking & drug use if you do, eat more fruits and vegetables, take some time away from sex and when you do it again, spend more time on foreplay. Also stop thinking you wouldn't last long, because your mind is powerful. The experts say all these help - I am not an expert.

Whatever you do though, honour God with your body and time because while we are all prospective 'one minute men', he is infinite and EVERLASTING and it is to him we'll give the account of every 'one minute' spent on earth.