The Most Important Relationship You Need

If you are conversant with social media particularly Instagram, you would be familiar with these hash tags #mcm - Man Crush Monday and #wcw - Woman Crush Wednesday.

I do not know the origin of these hash tags but I know that they serve the purpose of celebrating Men and Women people admire - Men are celebrated on Mondays while Women are celebrated on Wednesdays.
Now there's no rule that says we should wait till these days but I guess since M goes for both Man and Mondays and W goes for both Woman and Wednesdays it kinda rhymes - 'remember this is 2018 and if it ain't cool then it's oldschool.'

I honestly just formulated that! Who says I can't try a career in rap?

Now back to my gist, I have noticed recently that most people no longer celebrate others instead they celebrate themselves as #wcw and #mcm.

So I post a picture of Me and tag it #wcw with a quote about how I am the most hardworking and inspiring woman I know and how I deserve some accolades - you get the drift?

When I see posts like that a part of me usually wonders why anyone would crush on themselves - is that even possible? And another part urges me to not be so critical and just let people appreciate themselves.

The goal is supposed to be self love but in reality how many really love themselves?

When you filter and edit your pictures till it has no semblance with reality, do you love you? Is your confidence based on the number of editing apps you have? Do you seek validation from 'followers' who know nothing about your reality? Do you measure your worth by the number of 'likes' on pictures?

In fact do you know yourself?

Who are you? What does happiness mean to you? What are the things that make you smile? What are the things you would sacrifice for? What values would you hold onto no matter what? Who are the people you admire and why? What does friendship and love mean to you?

I ask because I have learned that the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself but you have to know you to have a healthy relationship with you.

This isn't me advocating selfishness or narcissism (we have too much of that today), I just think most people today are concerned more with performing for the world when deep inside 'they are crying for help'.

I may be wrong but I met a young lady once and in the course of our conversation she revealed that she did most things because people thought they were cool. She hung out with her friends because they were cool even if she can't be herself with them, she had even spent her school fees while trying to fit in, she needed help getting the money but she couldn't even open up to her 'friends' or parents and was willing to do 'anything' to get the money.
She confessed that she had lost touch with herself and in her words "I don't even know what I like anymore, I just go with the flow - it's not easy o but people like it so..." she shrugged.

I shrugged too as she spoke cos I knew life's experiences and not my words would teach her the truth with time.

She had gotten lost in the crowd while seeking validation from the crowd and like her, most of us have neglected the most important relationship we should have - a relationship with ourselves and now we are 'just going with the flow'.

Knowledge and acceptance of ourselves will help us know where to draw the line with others, take criticisms with an open mind and not feel the need to impress at the expense of our peace.

You can't pour from an empty cup so you should fill yourself first with love and healthy thoughts before you can do same for others and this starts with knowing yourself and commiting to improving yourself.

Besides it is easier to fill a space in your heart where someone else used to be than to fill a space where YOU used to be and if you stay true to you, people who will love you, will love you as you and not the idea they have of you.

So starting today have a date with yourself (it can be in your room), write down the things you love about you, the things you should change, the people who should stay and those who should go, the things you want and how you can achieve them, the mistakes you have made and how you can correct them.

Laugh about the silly things you have done then inhale deeply and as you exhale say good morning to yourself and mean it.