Sperm, The Ultimate Beauty Product?

As I write this I have facial mask on.

I am supposed to use it 3 times a week but between living and trying to meet up with my daily activities, anytime I remember is just fine - by me.

As I applied the facial mask I smile as I recall the magic cure to pimples a friend once told me about - honestly I remember it anytime I have to scrub, exfoliate, steam or cleanse my face.

Maybe if I had tried it I would have said bye bye to acne who knows I might have started a business teaching people how to wave acne or pimples good bye and would have made my mark in the beauty world, a girl can dream right?

I imagine me granting interviews about how I discovered the secret to a clear skin and then holding up a bottle of my precious formula as camera men take photos of me...snap back Okiemute.

It was in 2014, I was in the kitchen when she walked in.
We hugged and screamed even though it had been only 3 days since we last saw each other.

As I examined her I noticed she had a different glow to her, her face too was smoother than usual.

'Lee you are glowing' I said. Your pimples seem to have vanished, they are gone, what did you use?' 

She smiled mischievously, looked around to be sure no one could hear us and said "Sperm".

'Sperm? You mean sex?' I asked obviously lost.

 "No, Sperm. I read that it's a great cure for pimples so I have been applying So's Sperm on my face and I guess the difference is clear" she was smiling as she spoke.

So is the petname for her fiance who is now her husband.

I was taken aback, I mean I have read and even tried different things on my face - Lime, lemon, tomatoes, sugar, salt, bananas, pawpaw, toothpaste, someone even once suggested mud but Sperm?

I had never heard of that.

'Wow' I said trying to mask my irritation mixed with disbelief 'how do you'...before I could say more So walked into the kitchen asking what it was I was cooking that smelled nice.

As he spoke I glanced at his groin not sure of what to say about the magical cure to pimples between his legs and tried to smile as we hugged and exchanged pleasantries.

As I continued with my cooking, I thought about the extent we go in our search for perfection. 'Sperm ke'.

It's been 4 years since that day, I am yet to read up the truth about Lee's experiment and of course haven't mustered the courage to apply Sperm on my face.

How would I even ask for that? Who would I ask? I mean what else would define gross, grotty or sloven?

But would Sperm really have wiped all my acne cares away? Or better still made me a rich CEO of my own beauty empire? Who knows what they mix in these chemicals we buy anyway?

You know what they say, na wetin you look troway face naim your mate take pass you.

What do you think?