Dear man,
If you had a billion dollars, how many women would you marry? Would religion matter?
I am asking this question because of a conversation I have had one time too many with friends, colleagues and acquaintances about men and polygamy - the practice of one man marrying more than one wife.
They always say men if given the chance would marry more than one woman because it's in a man's nature to want more.
A lady even once told me it would be best for her husband to just marry any other woman he fancies instead of sneaking out to see her.
Now the practice of polygamy was a norm in pre-colonial Africa backed by tradition and strengthened by the belief that men are polygamous by nature.
In fact most cultures in Nigeria measured a man's strength by the number of women he could control and his wealth by the number of children he had.
However with the advent of Christianity many practices considered sinful were stopped or discouraged and polygamy was gradually replaced with monogamy - the practice of one man marrying one wife.
Religion aside, many young men today embrace monogamy - in marriage - because of modernization, the harsh economic realities as well as the fact that it is believed to guarantee peace of mind.
This doesn't mean that polygamy has been phased out as some people are still challenging the neo-status quo and are against the odds, holding on to and seemingly thriving in polygamy.
Okay maybe not polygamy in the real sense of it but most men still keep more than one woman especially where money isn't a problem.
Their actions are backed by the single argument that men will always want more. They even say things like 'you can't keeping eating only one type of soup forever.
I am not writing to judge anyone but to ask if it is true that men are polygamous by nature.
Are men created with an inability to be faithful?
Are they wired to cheat no matter what?
I have heard ladies say things like "a man will cheat no matter what so I'll prepare myself" and each time I hear it my head spins.
Isn't that a lie concocted by society to repress women and by misogynist for the purpose of self gratification?
Are we not making men believe they are helpless and incapable of loyalty?
If men are wired to cheat what about women because the reality today is that women cheat as much as men do regardless of culture and religious beliefs.
In fact I recently read about couples who decide to have 'open' marriages, giving each other license to cheat. This means that they can both have sexual partners even while they are married.
This shows that anybody can be anything if they decide to be and this isn't even dependent on religion or culture.
It is a matter of personal principles, loyalty and self control.
So I'll ask again, if you had a billion dollars, how many women would you marry?
Would religion matter?
Do you agree with the school of thought that men are by nature polygamous?
What is the place of religion and the place of culture?
What about morality?
Do you think a couple in spite of cultural norms and religious beliefs can decide how their marriage should be or is this a recipe for disaster?
The very point you pointed out at the latter part of the write up is the answer to it all. "It is self principles" that is just what it is all about. Not necessarily religion because we have seen or heard of staunch religious couples who still indulge in keeping more than one partner. If God knew that one woman won't be enough He would have created more than one for the first man. So we are not polygamous in nature by is individual principles and what each one desires
ReplyDeleteHmmm, a matter of principles as even religion wouldn't change a person,so nature.
DeleteYou have spoken for men o "we are not polygamous in nature"
Thank you Innocent for your thoughts.
With a billion dollars i'd invest my time and energy in a single woman, so much so she grosses more than a billion other women. Personal Reasons being, most women tend to be exhausting and time consuming, altering peace of mind, tranquility of thought, growth, progress and overall well being of a man.
ReplyDeleteI want to know you, really.
DeleteI appreciate your thoughts and find it awe-inspiring even if I quite disagree with your description of 'most' women as exhausting and time consuming, altering peace of mind, tranquility of thought etal not because I have been in your shoes but because I think saying 'most' implies that majority of women are this way.
I share from my introverted experience though, not to spite any genders. I just find it tiresome leaching from one company to the other, here say women. I say stick to one and build!
DeleteYour introverted point of view is interesting and I think it makes sense to say "stick with one and build".
DeleteThank you for sharing your thoughts.
it's a popular opinion that men prefer to have more than one woman, but that opinion is not general. To me one woman is even more complex to handle, having more will only compound the man's problems.
ReplyDeleteThe opinion that men prefer to have more than one women is not general, I think this encapsulates the fact that it's it's a matter personal preference/principles.
ReplyDeleteHaving one woman is complex? Lol
Thank you Prince for sharing your thoughts on this.