What's Wrong With Being a Queen?

'Thank you for being a gentleman' I said as he gestured for me to stand in front of him as we made to cross the road saying "Ladies first".

He laughed as he said "you are welcome" and I added "I really appreciate acts of Chivalry. I like it when a man is chivalrous and I don't think it shows I'm weak as a woman."

"That's interesting" he said and added, "most women these days make it seem like there's a war and I think it shows insecurity."

The Sunday service had just ended and we (my colleague whom I had gone to Church with, and I) were walking to the car park across the road when the conversation started.

We paused to say hello to a few people and as we got into the car, I brought up the conversation again. 'So you were saying you think it shows insecurity on the part of women who seek equality?' I asked

"Not equality. What some feminists claim to be fighting for is funny. Imagine some women asking that females in the Police force be addressed as 'Policemen' just like their male counterparts. Like being called a Policewoman makes you any less effective than your male counterpart"

'Is there an argument about that?' I asked.

He nodded, "Of course, they are everywhere on Social media and you begin to wonder if they are at war with men." I told him found it ridiculous.

'What's wrong with being a Queen? I asked. 'A Queen is the female leader in a Monarchy just as a King is the male leader in a Monarchy. It's just like when some women call themselves Kings. A woman can never be a King just as a man can never be a Queen, they are titles given to each gender. It will be folly for the Queen of England for example to say she wants to be called a King just to prove her strength. She already wields power because she is the head of the British Monarch.' It was me speaking.

"Exactly. I think it reeks of inferiority and low self esteem to want to be called what you are not. In fact it is you giving whatever power you seek to take" He said and added "I think it's the devil out to destroy the family unit."

'I think it's not about feminism but anti-womanhood. These are women who hate the fact that they are women because they think it makes them inferior to men and it could be about experiences they had growing up.' I said as I nodded.

We talked about how some women may have derailed in the fight for equal treatment as men. This is a conversation I have had one time too many.
I have read about women who threatened to withdraw their children from school because the teacher taught them that the Father is the head of the home. I always assume that their mentality resulted from having an absentee father or partner as I doubt that a woman in a healthy relationship with the father of her child(ren), a woman who is happy and loved would say that. I may be wrong though.

I recall the social media drama that ensued when some Nollywood actresses who are separated from their husbands wished themselves 'Happy Father's day' this last Father's day. One got a reply from the father of her son. He asked why she would write that when he is fully involved in the child's life. She had to apologize.
I imagine the confusion the children will grow up in not knowing whether Mummy is Mummy or Daddy. 

You may not agree but I think it takes real confidence to accept your role as a woman and not feel threatened by a man or see the need to argue for superiority. Respect isn't gotten by drawing swords and threatening blood.

As a woman, whether you are raising your kids by yourself or not, you are a Mum and there is nothing wrong with being just 'Mummy'.
Gender equality isn't about declaring war against men or making comparisons every chance we get. It is not about raising our girls to think of men as the enemy/usurper.
It is about seeking equal opportunities for both our sons and daughters while still letting them be their authentic selves.
It is letting them know that their strength doesn't lie in their physical capabilities or genders but in their minds.
They can take on the world if they dare and their gender wouldn't matter.

Darling girl, being a Queen is enough.

Do not make yourself a victim of your mind or other people's ideologies, adjust your crown and own your place.