Seventy times seven is 490 (Four hundred and ninety).
That's how many times the Bible asks us to forgive those who wrong us, daily.
I doubt that anyone would hurt us this much on a daily basis so I reckon that what Jesus Christ asks us to do is forgive as many times as we are offended.
He even goes on to say in the Lord's prayer "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us" - this is you being judge and jury for yourself as what you really say is, if I do not forgive them then do not forgive me.
Forgiveness.
It is spoken of as a virtue and from experience I can say this isn't easy to practice but you know what's more difficult?
Forgiving yourself.
That one is hard because you can cut off people who offend you but you have to live with yourself, for life.
We are told that holding onto grudges against others is being their prisoner but no one talks about forgiving yourself when you offend yourself, which is really hard.
As hard as this is, no one tells us what to do when the person who betrays us is the same person we have to face everytime we look in the mirror. The same person you have to go over the events of the day with, make decisions with, share the secrets no one may ever know with, bathe, feed, dressup and even sleep with everyday - yourself.
No one tells you what to do with yourself when you say things that get you in trouble or do things that cause you and others pain or embarrassment. No one tells you what to do to yourself when you look back on mistakes you wish you never made.
There are not enough songs, books, sermons, articles, seminars, counselling sessions on looking at yourself, recalling all the mistakes you could have avoided, all the words you could have left unsaid, the places you could have not gone to, the people you should never have let into your life, the actions you should not have taken and telling yourself - 'you messed up and I'm in this mess because of you, you could have done better, you should have known better but I understand that you are only human so I'll just have to give you another chance - after all what choice do I have?'
And because we do not hear enough of this we go on with our lives holding on to the past sometimes by talking about it every chance we get when what we really desire is an opportunity to go back in time and do better than we did or right the wrong.
We cut off people, avoid places, block out memories when what we should really do is let the memories come rushing back, admit our part in the mistake, accept responsibility, let go and then move on.
We are told to "dust yourself up and try again" but sometimes it takes more than dusting oneself up and shrugging off a mistake, sometimes it is not easy to just move on.
Sometimes it requires replaying the incidents and our actions in our mind - a private cinema for our mind's eyes only, beating ourselves up and crying, maybe even withdrawing/hibernating for a while by ourselves, deciding to do better next time, trashing the memory and consciously choosing to forgive ourselves.
It is easy to preach about forgiving others but we should also remember that sometimes we are the ones who need forgiveness.
Sometimes the person who has hurt you the most is you - with the bad business decisions you made, toxic relationship you got into and stayed in, pain you caused others, actions you took, lies you told, words you said, betraying the trust of those who believed in you, messing up the opportunites you got amongst other mistakes you may have made.
Sometimes the prison you need to set yourself free from is the prison of your past mistakes, the prison of your conscience. Sometimes you need to own your mistakes because then no one can hold them against you and you can be sure to not repeat them.
The only way you can only become whole again is to admit that you are not perfect and just like everyone else you too have fallen.
So take some time when you are by yourself to open your closet, bring out the skeletons, hold each one up and as you examine them recall how they came to be then clean out your closet and start again.
This may take some time but even life has its seasons too.
This is your Springtime, an opportunity to forget what happened during your winter and remember that you are a flower blossoming again as the Bible says in Psalms 30:5b "weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning."
Good morning sweetheart! It is another opportunity to forgive yourself and begin again.
Photo Credit: yourvibration.com
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