Please Don't Laugh - My Natural Hair Journey

As I write this I feel pain and discomfort because of the heat from the hand dryer being used to blow-dry my hair. My stylist does this after washing my hair to make it soft and straighten it before a new hairstyle is made.

'Ah, ohh, shhh' are the sounds I make in response to the pain and now I ask myself as I always do if it's all worth it - the pain I mean.

I know they say beauty comes with a prize or something like that but is the pain from having heat applied to my scalp and afterwards having my scalp pulled in the name of making my hair worth it? 

Should I just cut my hair?

Or should I join the train of naturalistas by grooming my natural hair saying goodbye to relaxers and heat from blow-drying for good?

The latter sounds more appealing as I will still have my hair to style as I please whenever I choose. 

Maybe I should try being a naturalista and hopefully this time I wouldn't give up halfway like I did the last time I tried - yes o this wouldn't be the first time.

Talking about the last time I tried, let me tell you what happened.

It happened about 2 years ago.

It seemed like all of a sudden cool was being redefined as having natural hair.

My colleagues were doing it, girls at the salon were doing it and even people on TV - it was the birth of a revolution, African women were owning their 4c type hair and rocking it too.

Ladies were either cutting their hair low in a bid to groom it from scratch or staying away from relaxers until they could have their 'big chop' - you leave your hair unrelaxed for months and then cut off the part of your hair that had been relaxed leaving the new roots of the hair that is free from relaxers.

I thought the latter was better and decided to go for it.

2 months passed without applying relaxer to my hair and I felt really proud as I thought very soon I would be among the new cool girls and become the archetypal African woman - those who wore their natural hair proudly.

I was on my journey and was determined to succeed so even on the days when I felt tears welling up in my eyes from the pain of combing my 'unrelaxed and strong' hair dew for relaxing - I would remember the other revolutionary African women like my colleagues and bear the pain.

When I spoke to other members of the natural hair team, I was asked to apply Shea Butter and water to soften the hair before combing it but that didn't help much, honestly.

The thing is I have little threshold for pain.

I am the girl that will never have another ear piercing even if I wanted to or even get a tattoo because I just cannot bear pain.

Even having my blood drawn with syringe for blood tests usually results in drama - no matter how hard I try, I still manage to scream till everyone and their mum is coming in to check if a woman in labour is stuck in the lab.
They are usually always stunned when I strut out minutes later in heels like nothing ever happened.

I guess you now see why even Shea Butter couldn't solve the problem of the pain from my near-natural hair.

I bore the pain all the same for all of 3 months and would have continued but something happened one day.

I had loosened my hair and was combing it in front of my mirror when I noticed the tears streaming down my face again. I blinked them back and continued combing but the more I combed the more pain I felt and the more the tears flowed. After a while I couldn't hold back anymore and I let out all the tears I had been holding back for months - there in front of my mirror, all by myself I burst into tears. I literally was wailing.

As I looked at my reflection I realized this natural hair journey isn't for everyone and that natural hair or not I would still be the Archetypal African woman.

I picked up my phone, called my Stylist and told her I was headed for the Salon.

When I got there she advised that I add avocado, mayonnaise, raw eggs, coconut oil and some other ingredients I cannot remember now to my hair to make it soft and sleek.
As she listed the items all I saw was salad and I imagined making salad and applying it to my hair instead of eating it.

As she spoke, some members of the natural hair club added their suggestions talking about how they sustained their natural hair. While they all spoke I scanned the Salon for the shelf where relaxers are kept, quietly picked one and handed it to my Stylist - Christ didn't die for me to bear pain and feed my hair food that I should eat in the name of carrying natural hair.

That was how the journey ended for me but today is another day, I still see so many ladies rock their natural hair beautifully and maybe the pain from combing my natural hair may not hurt as it did before.

Thinking of it now, I may embark on the journey again - hopefully I would do my African sisters proud this time.