MARKING YOUR TERRITORY IN RELATIONSHIPS...YAY OR NAY?

Yesterday I read an article on BellaNaija titled ‘How To Mark Your Territory Like a Pro’. It was centered on the ways a lady can mark her territory in a relationship. 

According to the writer some external forces – in the form of other girls – will come to put a couple asunder and she noted that one effective way of dealing with these external forces might be territory marking.

In case you are wondering, territory marking means claiming your territory and in this case, letting other girls know that your man is 'taken'. 

I will list some of the ways she suggested to help mark one’s territory:

Accidentally leaving strands of hair on your side of the bed where the other lady is most likely to sleep so she can see the strands and know another lady had been there, leaving pieces of hair on a brush or comb and letting it lie in a drawer or on the passenger’s seat of his car.

Taking selfies with his phone when he’s not looking and then taking a few other cute pictures of something else, so that he doesn’t quickly notice your pictures and delete them when he opens his camera (that’s if he has ulterior motives) and that any girl that tries to pree his phone pictures will have you staring them in the face.

She also suggested that if you cook for him, you can label the food stored in the fridge with words like ‘baby this Banga soup has only two pieces of meat in it but it is enough for 4 servings’, and lastly leaving scented candles and girlie magazines in his house.

She wrapped up her article by saying that all these do not guarantee that a man wouldn’t cheat and that if one needs to compete with other girls by marking ‘their territory’ then the relationship may not be worth it.

At this point I muttered halleluyah to myself. Then I proceeded to the comments section and noticed how majority of the commenters lauded her for the ‘great tips’. I smiled to myself, ‘team relationship FBI agents’ have been birthed.

I mean seriously? I should devote time that can be spent in planning my day and how to actualize my goals to picking strands of hair, deciding the best spot to leave them and in the process messing up his house and car all in the name of marking my territory? 

Why not hire custom officials and build a toll gate or better still a city wall? Ehen na, no be territory we dey mark? Women be settling for less since Nineteen creedee!

And then I’m to take selfies with his phone and add other pictures so he doesn’t delete my pictures? What a great way to express your ‘INSECURITY’, biko Sisteh if you have to do that then you know the truth. Dude doesn’t value you.

Haba na, why not print a banner of your face and make it his bedroom wall paper? When a man values you, you just know. In fact even if you have no makeup on he will still want selfies with you…you know the selfies where your face looks funny because you are busy explaining why you need to just apply powder on? Yes that kind. He sees not just your face but your soul.

How about cooking for him and labeling the food with baby tags…Sweetheart listen or in this case read, if you want to cook for your man do it because you want to and not because it will help you scare away another girl. Some girls will microwave the food and ‘chop’ it with relish and clean mouth. In fact they may leave another note thanking you for the food.

Men are not incompetent of claiming a woman they want. Have you ever taken relationship advice from a man? Here’s what they always say, ‘Be yourself and if a man wants you he will prove it ’.

The only territory worth marking is your heart and the book of Proverbs puts it simply ‘Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it – Proverbs 4:23’. So if you ever find yourself pulling James Bond or Jackie Chan moves in the name of keeping a man, you can communicate your insecurities and concerns to him but if nothing changes then hunnay maybe you are with the wrong man, he should be the one marking his territory and not the other way round.

These words of Jesus Christ in Matthew 7:6 sums it up 'Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you'. 

Do not cast your pearls before swines...Nuff said!