What It Means When You Say "For Better Or Worse".

You watch as he is taken away in the Black Maria and for the first time since his ordeal began you break down in tears.

Your mother holds you and tries to console you but you are inconsolable. What started like a scene from a movie has metamorphosed into a night mare. Daniel your husband of 9 years has been taken away in detention to a prison hundreds of miles away from home. All of a sudden, you feel alone in the world.

You go back to your mother's house as the house you called home has been confiscated along side your cars and Daniel's other properties. All you have are the jewelry you hid, your designer bags, shoes and clothes, and your two children, Crystal who is 8 and Ella who is 3 years old.

Your mother sits you down the next day to remind you that the party is over, everything has changed and there's no time to grieve. Daniel may not be back anytime soon as the charges against him are heavy and you may never be able to afford the kind of lawyer that can defend him. She asks you to buckle your belt and hustle because you have 2 children to care for.

You spend days thinking of how to hustle but you come up with nothing and for the first time in your adult life you feel helpless as you realize you have never had to hustle to live.

You met Daniel in your final year in school and married him just after graduation. He insisted that you do nothing because he was capable of caring for you and he did care for you. He gave you the best life money could afford. Vacations were a dime a dozen, expensive Jewelry were the souvenirs from every trip made and he made many trips.

Now that he is gone, you realize you have no skill or experience but you are determined to survive as you tell yourself "what doesn't kill you make you stronger."

You decide that you would sell whatever you can from your Jewelry and start a business so you can take care of your kids.
You decide that you hold the Forte till Daniel returns.

What you do not know however is that you would lose the Five hundred thousand naira you raised from selling some Jewelry when the second hand clothes you would buy from Benin republic to sell in Nigeria are ceased at the Seme border by the Nigerian Customs because they are contraband goods.

What you also do not know is that you will fight with your Mum after she calls you foolish for being fully dependent on a man not having money stashed for the rainy days and that she would ask you to leave her house as there cannot be two Captains in a ship.

What you also do not know is that after selling more Jewelry and valuables to rent an apartment, pay your children's expensive school fees and the fees of the high profile Lawyer you got to defend Daniel, you would be totally broke.

What you also do not know is that Daniel's friends Bruno and Iyke who luckily escaped even though they were involved in the deal that led to his arrest would offer to help you only if you have sex with them.
You would spit in Bruno's face the day he tells you in his house and throw the glass of drink Iyke offered you in his office at him and you would cry for nights on end because you never knew people could change suddenly and be so cruel.

What you also do not know is that when your rent expires, you would go to your friends who would turn their backs on you and treat you like a Pariah. You would spend six hours outside Tricia's gate waiting for her so she can help you with money to buy food for your babies but she would tell her security man to tell you she isn't at home.

You didn't envisage the day you would withdraw Crystal and Ella from school because you can no longer afford the fees and even send Crystal to live with your Church members Mr and Mrs Nnamani who would offer to help care for her.

You do not know that 6 months after Crystal who is now 9 years old moves in with your church members, she would be abused sexually by Mr Nnamani. He would threaten to kill her if she mentions it to you or his wife and she would keep quiet out of fear.

You also do not know Crystal would die after she drinks the concoction given to her by Mr Nnamani when a Pregnancy test comes out positive. He would tell you after her burial to go for deliverance so that the spirits after you would not kill Ella as well and that he would keep you in his prayers.

You would cry as life deals you blow after blow and you remind yourself that this wasn't what you bargained for when you signed "For better or for worse."

You also do not know that you would try to make peace with your mother but she would turn you away, again.

You do not know that you would one day contemplate sleeping with Daniel's friends in exchange for money because there would be no money or health insurance to pay for an Appendectomy for Ella.

On that day you change your mind as you beg God to take your life instead because you have lost the fight in you.
On that day also your new boss a Lawyer whose house you clean would scold you when she finds you crying by the pool when you should have been working.

On that day you would tell her your story and she would promise to pay for Ella's surgery, take you out of the batcher made of zinc you live in and get a Lawyer to defend Daniel.
For the first time in years, someone would keep the promise they made to you and on the day you see Daniel again 5 years after his stay in detention, you would remind yourself what it meant when you said "For better or worse".

You do not know also that one year after Daniel's return you would have a son whom you would name 'Chukwuebuka' meaning God is Great. 

Today though, you are holding Crystal and Ella in your arms and showing them the Jewelry you plan to sell so you can raise funds to start a business selling second hand clothes as well as pay their school fees.

Today you promise to protect and care for your babies but you do not know all that life has in store for you.