Motherhood

You become a mom, and everything changes. You now live for another human being, and your life literally revolves around theirs. It’s something no one can truly prepare you for because every experience is different. Even mothers of multiple children - twins, triplets, will tell you that each child brings a whole new journey.

As my friend Osas would say, “It’s easy to assume you’re patient and kind until you become a mom, especially a mom of more than one child. They’ll test you until you realize that you, too, have the tendency to be selfish.” I often reflect on that and laugh, because my girl sure knows what she’s saying.

This is the hood we’re in - motherhood. A cool, life-changing one that reveals sides of you you never knew existed. Some days I’m high on energy, ready to take on the world; other days, I just want to stay in bed with zero responsibilities. Most adults feel that way, but with motherhood, the frequency increases - I think.

As I continue this journey, I realize that a community of encouragers especially women who have walked this path, is not optional. In our increasingly complex and isolated world, where the search for greener pastures pulls us away from home, community becomes essential. It’s easier when you have family support - mothers, sisters, aunts, relatives who can step in so you can breathe and focus. But for many of us, that’s not the reality.

Now, we build new communities. Sometimes we even pay to be part of them - gyms, clubs, associations. A good church community helps too. But beyond that, I’ve come to value the presence of older women, both at home and at work - women who are honest enough to share their struggles with balancing motherhood and career. Their openness has given me strength and perspective, and I’ve benefited deeply from their wisdom.

Motherhood has humanized, humbled, challenged, and empowered me. While I’m grateful for the privilege, I sometimes wonder if I’m doing well. Like Debby would say, “This is the real ‘for better, for worse’ - we’re locked in for life.”

We are, and we’re grateful, too. Yet, as my friend Ada (mom to twins now approaching their teenage years) often says, “It’s tiring. You just hope they don’t make the same mistakes you did or reflect the traits you detest or are still working on.”

My big sister and mentor, Mabel, gave me one of the best pieces of advice during pregnancy: “Outsource everything possible.” I ran with it, and now it’s what I tell every new mom - whatever you can delegate, do it. Let others help so you can breathe and thrive.

My big sister, Mo, would always say, “Babe, you need to prioritize yourself.” It’s a simple statement, but it carries so much truth. I remember once when my landlady offered to watch my baby while I slept - she even laid a bed for me and made sure I took a nap. Those short rest times made a world of difference.

And then there’s my sister, though younger, she has become such a rock for me, doing everything possible to make me comfortable, constantly reminding me to put myself first. Her kindness and strength inspire me daily, and I thank God for her.

Motherhood is a journey. I’m grateful that, while my circle is small, I don’t walk alone. I hope it’s the same for you, that your journey is made easier, that God sends empathetic, supportive, and sincere people your way. May your up days outnumber your down days. May you always see the cup as half full, not half empty. And may you remember to be gentle with yourself.

May your mother’s grace also shine on you - that as she raised you, you too will be there for your children.

It is well.