I Know You Cannot Wait For 2020 To End, But...

 “I can’t wait for 2020 to end”. Like me, you have probably heard this from people and might even have thought so yourself. My response each time I am greeted with that statement is “what guarantees do you have that 2021 would be a better year?” 

The truth though is I do not blame anyone who wants this year to end, because 2020 has indeed been exhausting - mentally, physically, psychologically, socially, economically and dare I say, even spiritually. Our faith has been tested and tried. The very core of our existence as humans - the desire to relate and socialize was inhibited by the COVID-19 pandemic which took its toll on ‘everything’ and now nothing is as we knew it or would like it to be.

2020, what a year!

As challenging as these times are though, it is a great time to be alive. It is a time of unprecedented technological, scientific, medical and even economic advancement as more young people are hitting the million dollar mark like never before but it is also a time of intense pressure as one cannot be seen to be failing in the midst of seeming global ‘opportunities’ for growth.

It is a time when we can shop without moving from our bedroom, influence government policies through social media, meet for hours with people in different continents from the comfort of our homes, clamour for our right to be anything we feel like (whether it makes sense to anyone or not), change our physical features to fit society’s standard of beauty/social acceptance and even change our gender from the one ‘assigned’ to us at birth.

We can literally be anything we want today. Isn’t it an interesting time to be alive!

A time when we have an abundance of digital content (movies, music, podcasts, comedy, memes), more entertainment than we can consume in our lifetime, educational materials to advance our lives/careers, and friends/followers who ‘like’ our pictures online and ‘follow’ us faithfully yet know nothing about our reality.

Still, it is the time when suicide is at its peak and drug use is on a steady rise. We are so close today that we can talk via video calls for hours, yet farther from each other so much so that a person whose video made you laugh out loud yesterday may turn up dead from suicide today and you wonder “Why? But he seemed so full of life and had everything most people desire”.

These are interesting times but the truth I have learned is that it is harder for people today especially young people than we would like to admit.

There is pressure to fit in, to be seen and accepted, to carve a niche, to replicate the lives of those we admire, to be heard, to be given a chance to prove ourselves, to not fail, and to just be sane amidst everything happening.

Our brains are constantly fighting to be safe because that is the only way our minds can be happy.

The drive to risk our lives in search of greener pastures, experiment with drugs, get and stay in relationships against our better judgement, and pull other stunts are all coping mechanisms.

It is our brain’s search for happy hormones like serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin and endorphins that make it feel safe and in turn interpret happiness to our minds. This search will make us go to any length and adopt habits that may be harmful in the long term but in the moment give us peace, albeit short lived. It is a battle most of us are fighting, especially young people and to win the war we need to be compassionate to ourselves and to others.

We need to be intentional in our relationships, ask ‘how are you?’ not as an act of courtesy but of care, listen more to people, support in the way we can and just be there.

2020 has been an exhausting year and for most young people the present is grim and the future seems bleak.

Most people appear fine but underneath their smile is a cry for help, a desire to just be seen, heard and understood. As such, we need compassion, empathy and sensitivity. We need kindness, patience, and clarity of mind that helps us admit that it is okay to not have it all figured out.

We need to find value and measure our worth against enduring and non-ephemeral entities like family (our kith and kin), friendships, genuine laughter, helping and serving others.

2020 is still here and while you probably are counting the days till it ends, may it not break our hearts any further, may it end better than anticipated and usher us into a more pleasant 2021.

More importantly though may we find faith, hope and love that keeps our hearts steady, strength to plan and prepare for change, grit to see that our goals are achieved and an unfailing faith in a God who never changes and stays when everyone else walks away.

P.S: Your biggest win this year is that you are alive today. So congratulations and more life to you in 2021!