Shades of Grey : Life Isn't Always In Black and White

I have burned a lot of bridges. I have cut off communication with a lot of people and sometimes I go the whole nine yards of warning them to never communicate with me, deleting their numbers and blocking them on all media.

Sometimes it’s because of something they said or did. Now I hear you scoff ‘so you think you are superior to them’?...uh huh, well I’m only being honest.

I am sure also that I am not alone. You too have some point may have cut people off. You probably didn’t go the whole nine yards, maybe you just made a decision within yourself to never talk to them again or just ignore them till they are frustrated and the message hits home that ‘you are done with them’.

Sometimes we still communicate with certain people but deep down we are perplexed by them as we can’t fathom why they wouldn’t just do what ‘normal’ people do. Or at least do what we expect them to do or act the way we expect them to.

I guess it’s part of our human nature – judging people we don’t understand.

While I am not trying to say it is wrong or right, I have come to understand that we often see people through our lenses and judge them based on our own experiences. Life however isn’t always as we see it, there’s not always a yes and no answer to questions, we may never fathom why people act the way they do because we may never walk in their shoes.

Life isn’t always in black and white, sometimes and more often than not there are shades of grey.

As such seeing people always through our lenses may limit our view of the world and cause us to misunderstand, misconstrue and even hate them when in reality we only need to expend time to think about the experiences they have had and try to understand why they act the way they do.

Our backgrounds, education, culture and beliefs often influence us and determine what we hold in esteem – values, we can’t therefore expect a child that grew up in an environment where criminality is prevalent and only the fit survive, to act in the same way as a child who grew up in more stable environment where everyone looks out for the other. Their experiences will impact their lives.

The girl that was probably raped as a teenager and has had countless abortions or the girl that was forced to become a woman because she had to fend for herself and siblings may be seen as ‘immoral’ by everyone but maybe if she had known love and security she may have turned out differently.

This is not to say that we should condone immoral, violent, antisocial, or plain bad behavior but we may only need to be more tolerant of others to really understand them.

Sometimes we need to extend to others the same grace we think we deserve.

Truth is, you may never be able to influence people until they can trust that they can be themselves with you, then you can help them see that there is a ‘higher way’.

We are admonished by Christ in Matthew 7:1-2 to “not judge and criticize and condemn [others unfairly with an attitude of self-righteous superiority as though assuming the office of a judge], so that you will not be judged [unfairly].  For just as you [hypocritically] judge others [when you are sinful and unrepentant], so will you be judged; and in accordance with your standard of measure [used to pass out judgment], judgment will be measured to you”.

As I have grown older in life and in my walk with God I have learned and I’m still learning to be tolerant of people. You do not have to make everyone family but it will be easy to not judge them when they act in ways you deem ‘unbefitting’.

So the next time you think of deleting that number, warning them to never communicate with you, blocking them or just turning up your nose when they ‘act up’, take time to put yourself in their shoes – would you act differently?

Take time, expend energy to think it through always before you strike that match stick to burn that bridge – you may or may not need to walk over it sometime in future.

Life though isn’t always black and white, there are shades of grey in-between.