For My Queen Igho Imonirhua, You Put My Love On Top

Okiemute! Emma!

It was unmistakably my Mum’s voice.

I rushed out of class and looked down from the first floor of the storey building that was my school. ‘Haba Mummy is all well? And why is the school’s Security Officer chasing after you?’ these were the thoughts running through my mind.  You see, my Mum had just defied the security men’s orders. She jumped over the school’s fence.

It was in 1998 during the tribal war in Warri. My Mum was listening to the radio when she heard an announcement that there would be curfew from 10am as restive youths from the warring factions were out to cause mayhem. She immediately left the dishes she was doing and headed straight for my school. When she got there, the school’s security officers insisted that she go home that we were safe but she wouldn’t have it. She insisted that she had to take us home as we could only be really safe with her.

When they wouldn’t open the gate, she jumped over the fence and ran straight to our classroom block screaming our names as she ran. That event will forever remain indelible in my mind because at the time Mummy was obviously not concerned about her reputation or safety…she was simply being moved by the need to protect her children. Only my mum could have done that for me, she put my love on top.

Every mother is special but it was Mum that put her life on the line for me. Every mother wants the best for her child but it was Mum that sacrificed everything – yes everything – for me.

Despite being raised by a father that believed female children are worthless and enduring neglect and torture for the single fact that she is “FEMALE’ and inferior to her brothers, Mum reminded me that if she could rise above such emotional and verbal abuse, then I have no excuse.

It was Mum who gave me life and taught me how to live. Respect for elders and doing house chores was non-negotiable, these are basic life skills and I learnt them from Mum.

It was Mum who first called me beautiful. Growing up, she would sing my praises calling me “the only Queen of Agbarho - my Dad's hometown -  who makes everyone else diminish when she shows up” and it got entrenched in my memory that I had no choice but to turn out beautiful.

It was Mum that bent over backwards to protect and provide for me and she never failed to bend me backwards when I erred…in fact growing up, we had a list of offences and the accompanying punishment posted on the wall of our room. Some offences attracted being flogged either 3, 6, 12 strokes of the cane, for some you may pick pins or sit on the air as the case may be…Mum is still a disciplinarian.

It was Mum who taught me about unconditional love and loyalty. She loved Dad in a way that seems only possible in novels and movies. She fought for & chose him in spite of her family’s rejection and stuck with him when everyone else deserted him – Dad lost his life and it was Mum who gave it back to him.

It was Mum who first inspired me and taught me optimism. Today I read quotes about not giving up and I smile because all of those are words I grew up hearing from Mum. She may not have used same words but it was the same message and I owe all that I am to Mum.

It was Mum who taught me about the most important relationship I need – my relationship with God. Mum did not just send me to Church, she took me there and also taught me total dependence on my Creator as well as help me nurture my relationship with him.

God bless you Queen Igho Imonirhua, my Cheerleader, Friend, Prayer partner, Critic and Angel.

You jumped fences, walked long distances in the sun and rain, made friends and foes alike, treaded places where many never dared and kept vigils in your quest to keep me from harm’s way – thank you for putting my love on top.

You are God’s gift to me, there ain’t no Mama like you and someday when I become a Mum my children wouldn’t have to wonder who I learned from – they would know it was mum.

I love you Mum, the Queen that put my love on top.