Believing The Best Of Others

You have probably heard, read or even used the phrase ‘once bitten twice shy’.

To be honest, I have hurt people countless times with my words, actions and inactions intentionally and unintentionally. I too have been hurt. I have also met people who have been hurt, cheated on, betrayed, abandoned and rejected.

The result of this cycle of hurt and betrayal is that we become cynical and sometimes paranoid. We audition people either knowingly or unknowingly to see if they deserve our trust before we accept them – it’s our defense mechanism at work.

I personally have played the role of a cynic one time too many that I prided myself in expecting the worst from people so there’s no surprise when they hurt me. This isn’t because I’m a pessimist, it’s because I have subconsciously built a shield that I considered impenetrable until a person has proven themselves to be trust worthy.

Truth though is that no matter how much a person proves themselves, they will still err because of the fallible nature of man. I too still err, we are humans.

I had a conversation with a friend I was introduced to sometime last year and in the course of our conversation, I noted that I expect people to act up because its human nature and I’m usually not surprised when they do. He responded that “it’s best to believe the best of people until they prove otherwise”. This stuck with and still reverberates in my mind, I went on to read articles and now I am sharing my opinion – strictly mine – on believing the best of others.

One thing I have learned is that this expectation of the worst of others is me actually yielding to the lies that have come with the hurt and betrayal. The protective shields and walls I have built is in reality layers of hurts.

I learned also that the only way to let go of these layers of past hurt and betrayal is by learning to trust and have faith in people, just loving them at first sight. Now this isn’t so easy and that’s where a knowledge of God’s word comes in.

The Apostle Paul writing to the Corinthians about love stated that ‘Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things’ 1 Corinthians 7:14. That is love’s work, believing and hoping for the best in others and where they err, love endures till they get it right.

This may be hard to do but it is possible if we obey the Golden rule ‘do unto others as you want others to do unto you’ – Matthew 7:12. Knowing then that we are not perfect, we will be able to tolerate the imperfections of others.

We must also learn to not put our trust in man but in God, then you will never be disappointed.

Believing the best of others isn’t being naïve rather it is having a positive disposition towards others. Trusting them to act right, being patient with them when they don’t and helping them till they get it right. It loving others as we want to be loved and extending the courtesy with which we hope to be treated. It is seeing others through God’s eyes.

And where you fear that they may turn around and hurt you if you are trusting remember that ‘in all things God works for the good of them that love him’. The Holy Spirit gives us the gift of discernment and God upholds, protects and defends us in our dealing with others.

So set your heart free, believe the best of people, bask in grace and extend same to others, you will not only draw out the good in men but live freely.