Always Be Gracious And Grateful

I read once that the hardest mathematics in the world is the one which enables us count our blessings and I must say it's true.

Oftentimes we get so engrossed with our needs and wants which by the way are insatiable, that we have no time to just be grateful for what we have.

Also oftentimes we compare ourselves with others and sometimes it's with the most mundane issues like your sister whose daughter has started walking at the age of one while yours is still crawling - funny but true.

We get caught up with counting the blessings of others which leaves us no time to count our own and this has resulted in most people being depressed and suicidal.

I am not saying those suffering depression are ungrateful, I'm simply saying that if we focus on the beauty in our lives, there will be no room for depression or suicidal thoughts. 'A merry heart does good like medicine' Proverbs 17:22.

We must therefore learn to always be gracious and grateful. It's easy to focus on all the things that are not going right but we must take time to focus on the positive and the things going right.

Commit to getting better and improving your life, set goals, never settle, do not be content with mediocrity but make sure to enjoy the journey.

Everyday won't be perfect but everyday has its purpose.

We must teach our children to be thankful. Encourage your child to succeed but do not forget to celebrate their small successes.

Be intentional in giving thanks and do not wait for a special day to give thanks instead make thanksgiving a habit and thanksliving a lifestyle.

Remember that someone somewhere may be praying to have what you take for granted.

Spread joy wherever you go because the truth is that life won't be perfect but a grateful heart and thankful lips will make the journey worthwhile.

Who's Your Daddy?

Oftentimes in life, we may get overwhelmed with the challenges of living that we forget that all we have to do is cast our cares on the one who cares for us. 

Sometimes we get sunk in the mire of our sins and mistakes and we feel cut off from God, but we must remember that ours is a Father whose love is unconditional and everlasting. 

When doubts arise and the storm rages, remind yourself whose you are. 

He is Everything To Me:

He is the First and Last, the Beginning and the End!
He is the keeper of Creation, Creator of all!
He is the Architect of the universe and the Manager of all times.
He always was, He always is, and He always will be
Unmoved, Unchanged, Undefeated, and Never undone!

He was bruised and brought healing!
He was pierced and eased pain!
He was persecuted and brought freedom!
He was dead and brought life!
He is risen and brings power!
He reigns and brings Peace!

The world can’t understand him, armies can’t defeat Him, Schools can’t explain Him, and the leaders can’t ignore Him.

Herod couldn’t kill Him,
The Pharisees couldn’t confuse Him, and
The people couldn’t hold Him!
Nero couldn’t crush Him,
Hitler couldn’t silence Him,
The New Age can’t replace Him, and
The intellectuals and rationalists can’t explain Him away!

He is Light, Love, Longevity, and Lord.
He is Goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, and God.
He is Holy, Righteous, Mighty, Powerful, and Pure.
His ways are right, His Word is eternal,
His will is unchanging, and His mind is on me!

He is my Redeemer,
He is my Savior,
He is my Guide, and
He is my Peace!
He is my Joy,
He is my Comfort,
He is my Lord, and
He rules my life!

I serve Him because His bond is love,
His burden is light, and His goal for me is abundant life.

I’m bought by blood and bound by love.
I love Him because He first loved me.

I follow Him because
He is the wisdom of the wise,
The power of the powerful,
The ancient of days,
The ruler of rulers,
The leader of leaders,
The First of the overcomers, and
The sovereign Lord of all that was and is to come.

And wonders of wonders- 
His goal is a relationship with ME!

He will never leave me, or forsake me,
Never mislead me, or forget me,
Never overlook me, and
Never cancel my appointment in His appointment book!

When I fall, He lifts me up!
When I fail, He forgives!
When I am weak, He is strong!
When I am lost, He is the way!
When I am afraid, He is my courage!
When I stumble, He steadies me!
When I am hurt, He heals me!
When I am broken, He mends me!
When I am blind, He leads me!
When I am hungry, He feeds me!
When I face trials, He is with me!
When I face persecution, He shields me!
When I face problems, He comforts me!
When I face loss, He provides for me!
When I face Death, He carries me Home!

He is my everything
He is God,
He is faithful.

I am His, and He is mine!
Our Father in heaven has defeated the god of this world.
Greater is He that is in me!

So, if you’re wondering why I feel so secure, understand this...
He said it and that settles it.
God is in control, I am on His side, and that means all is well with my soul.

Everyday is a blessing for GOD Is!

Adopted. 

When I Look At You, Who Will I See?

I came across this post this fine morning and thought to share.

It's profound...read on,

A few years ago a group of salesmen went to a regional sales convention in Chicago .. They had assured their wives that they would be home in plenty of time for Friday night's dinner. In their rush, with tickets and briefcases, one of these salesmen inadvertently kicked over a table which held a display of apples. Apples flew everywhere. Without stopping or looking back, they all managed to reach the plane in time for their nearly-missed boarding...
ALL BUT ONE!!! He paused, took a deep breath, got in touch with his feelings and experienced a twinge of compassion for the girl whose apple stand had been overturned.
He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor.

He was glad he did. The 16-year-old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her; no one stopping and no one to care for her plight.
The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.
When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, "Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?"She nodded through her tears. He continued on with, "I hope we didn't spoil your day too badly."
As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, "Mister...." He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, "Are you Jesus?"
He stopped in mid-stride .... and he wondered. He gently went back and said, "No, I am nothing like Jesus - He is good, kind, caring, loving, and would never have bumped into your display in the first place.
"The girl gently nodded: "I only asked because I prayed for Jesus to help me gather the apples. He sent you to help me, so you are like Him - only He knows who will do His will. Thank you for hearing His call, Mister."
Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: "Are you Jesus?"

Do people mistake you for Jesus?

That's our destiny, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His love, life and grace.
If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would. Knowing Him is Great . It's actually living the Word as life unfolds day to day.
You are the apple of His eye even though you, too, have been bruised by a fall. He stopped what He was doing and picked up you and me on a hill called Calvary and paid in full for our damaged fruit . How AWESOME! How Great is Our LORD!

The Road Trip: The Little Things Count

Buy me a Rose, call me from work, open the door for me why would it hurt...these are the little things I need the most in my life'
These are lyrics from Luther Vandross' song  'Buy me a Rose' and they express a lover's plea to their partner to show them love in the littlest of ways.

I recently fell ill and had to stay home from work. Having completed the prescribed medication, I resumed work as I thought that I had fully recovered but I was wrong as I collapsed before the close of work and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The Doctor said I needed to rest so I stayed home today - hoping to recover.
Then a friend visited and suggested that I go on a ride around town with him, I felt weak but took up his offer and we hit the road.
We drove round, had lunch at a nice restaurant, chatted, laughed, sang to songs on the radio and took the longer route back home.
By the time I got home, I felt refreshed, rejuvenated and strong - the trip, the sights, the jokes did what the Doctor's prescription couldn't do.
I feel stronger and I owe it to the simple gesture of taking a trip round town.

Oftentimes in life it's the simple things that count.

As a parent just taking time to tuck your child in bed may mean more than a hundred toys.
Calling up a friend just to know how they are faring could make a difference in their day.
Making time for family will create memories that will last a lifetime.
Buy a Rose for your partner or do something nice for them just because you appreciate them.
The little things we do are often what add up to become the big things and create memories that last a lifetime.

Fiction: The Vow

Loving all I know about you and trusting what I do not yet know. In all that life brings us, I pledge...no I promise would be better, she thought.
She struck out the word Pledge and made to write promise instead, then she looked up as Kate her sister's giggle caught her attention, she smiled. Kate was trying on her dress and Cynthia teased her about trying to outshine the bride.
Then she looked in the mirror before her, Cynthia did a perfect job with her makeup as she looked every inch the perfect bride.

She looked down again at the note pad in her hand, she was reviewing her vows for the umpteenth time.

Today she would be one with the best man she ever met, they had both agreed to write their vows and she wanted hers to be perfect. She intended to paint her love with the best of words - Charles is worth more than words can describe.
She smiled again as she pictured his face, she imagined him stifling his laughter at some of the things she would say about him and their love.

Then her mind flashed back to the day they met - 12 months earlier.
She had gone to the bank to retrieve her ATM card which got stuck in the machine the day before but she was told the same thing she had heard the day before. The man in charge wasn't on seat and she had to wait or return again. She was angry and frustrated as she had deadlines to meet, besides she was to leave town the next day. She knew playing it cool would get her no where and before anyone could say anything she sat on the floor, surprising even herself.

She sat down and told the Customer Care lady that she would not get up until she got her card.

'In fact I'll post pictures of myself on Social media and let everyone know how incompetent and insensitive you are to customers plight' this was her reply when the lady insisted that a well dressed and pretty lady ought to not act in that manner. The lady threatened to call security but she didn't flinch.

Before long the HR manager came out to pacify her but she insisted that she would not move until she got her card. Shortly after, the man who was to give her the card came in and she was handed her card. She got up, dusted her dress and walked out. She didn't even wait to hear what the bank officials were saying to her - she felt a little embarrassed but her act of desperation paid off.

Two weeks later, she had gone to get grocery from the City mall and as she made to hand her card to the cashier for payment she heard a voice 'you still have your card huh'?
She turned and it was the HR Manager from the bank, she was too embarrassed to say anything.

He extended his hand for a handshake 'My name is Charles' he said.

She nodded and smiled as she took his hand 'I'm Grace, nice shirt you have on', she replied.
He muttered his thanks and offered to take her wherever she was headed to make up for the embarrassment his bank had caused her. But she politely declined as she had driven to the mall. He insisted then that he would make up in anyway possible. They agreed to have dinner that weekend and exchanged cards.
He took the bags from her, walked her down to her car, helped her put them in the boot and watched her drive off.

That weekend they had dinner and the dinner dates continued for four weeks before he asked her out officially. Then they had formed a bond.
Charles was the quintessential gentleman and though he had his flaws, he was a good man.

He gave her the best time of her life.

They navigated through the tough times, shared each other's pains, celebrated successes and just grew together. He proposed eight months after.

Two months ago today she thought, as Kate's voice jolted her back to reality, 'Grace, your phone is ringing'. She picked up her phone, it was Charles.

'Hello, My best man' she said.
'My pearl' he responded, 'My favorite girl, how are you'?
'I'm good, getting ready to be your wife'.
He chuckled.
'I have a confession', he said.
'I'm listening' she responded.
He went on 'My darling, did you know I have dreamt of this day from the day I saw you sitting on the floor at the bank? I knew I wanted you from that day'. She smiled and he continued.

'Meeting you at the mall was God's answer to my prayers and I knew I would never let you go. Sometimes I wonder if I can love you the way you deserve to be loved. I wonder why a woman with such a beautiful soul would choose me in spite of my imperfections. I just love you'.

I love you too, she replied

He continued, 'Remember the day you canceled your trip to take care of me when I fell ill? I overheard you telling your mum on the phone to pray for me and that you would give your blood if you had to. That day I knew I would give anything to make you happy.
So babe, I can't promise you a perfect life but I'll do all I can to protect, defend, honor and love you. If I err as I'm wont to do, if you feel overwhelmed and are tempted to leave me, remember I fell for you.

When life's storm rages and we can't stand any longer, we will go on our knees to the God who brought us together - our king.
I choose you today, my favorite girl, prayer partner, cheerleader, teammate, sister, lover and Wife. Don't you ever doubt my love for you cos I will love you faithfully and no matter where life takes us Grace will lead us home - to each other.
Thank you for accepting to be the mother of my children. You have brought me happiness and I will do right by you, God bless you my pearl'.
She felt a tear trickle down her face.

God bless you too my love, she muttered.

'I imagine how beautiful you look right now. Now let's go do this' he replied

She dropped the call and looked down at the Note pad in her hand, she reviewed her Vow and beckoned on Kate and Cynthia, 'let us pray' she said.

They came over, held each other's hands and bowed their heads to pray.

The Art Of Marriage

What does it take to have a great marriage?

I have never been married and so I have absolutely no idea what married life is like but I do know that as with everything in life married life has it’s challenges. I also know that no two marriages are the same as each individual is unique.

I have heard and read a lot of articles on marriage and while heeding such may not guarantee a healthy marriage, I do know that the best person to take advice from is one who have walked the walk.

So I came across a Poem titled “The Art of Marriage,” by Wilferd A. Peterson who was married to his wife for 58 years and you will agree with me that if he was married for 58 years then he has advice that should be heeded. 

I thought to share his poem, read on.

The Art Of Marriage

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.

A good marriage must be created.

In the art of marriage the little things are the big things…

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted;the courtship should not end with the honeymoon,
it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.


It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude
of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation
and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.


It is cultivating flexibility, patience,
understanding and a sense of humor.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.


It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal,
dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.

– by Wilferd Arlan Peterson.

                    

Cinderella: A Different View

The Cinderella story created by Disney is one of the most popular stories and has been reenacted severally in movies and books. 

I think though that it is not a story I will tell my daughter(s) for reasons I will highlight below. 

1.Cinderella's Step-Mother was depicted as evil but Step-Mothers are not always evil. When one hears the word stepmother they usually think evil and wicked first and it is the idea sold to us from such fairy tales. As a result when we see children living with Step-Mothers we tend to see them as victims, it's wrong.

2. Prince Charming is not real. Abeg no need to create the picture of the 'perfect and handsome' man that would come to save your little girl. Instead of emphasizing on his looks, tell her about traits such as resourcefulness, tact, thoughtfulness, kindness, discipline and decency. Innate qualities are more important than a man's appearance.

3. Girls do not need to be pretty to be accepted. We are told that Cinderella was pretty and good while her stepsisters were ugly and wicked which is why she got the Prince's attention. This makes us judge people most times based on their appearance and may lead girls to desire perfection - which is unattainable.

4. Girls are active participants in relationships. Cinderella is painted as a passive female whose only role was to look good for the ball and even when she fled at midnight (which is akin to trying times in a relationship), the Prince went all out and all she had to do was fit into glass slippers. In the real world, a woman is a partner and an active participant in a relationship.

5. A girl doesn't need a man to save her.  Cinderella is depicted as the poor maid who waits for Prince Charming to give her life a meaning. This may lead to girls fantasizing about a man who would come to save them from their 'hard' life instead of seeking success on their own. I do not deny that a good man sometimes encourages and supports you to succeed but you must first have the drive on your own. Christ already saved us and that is enough.

I would teach her instead about Queen Esther. 

Esther was an orphan that became a queen but she didn't just live happily ever after, she fought battles on her knees and physically to save her people and was even willing to die for them. She didn't just sit pretty like her predecessor, I think that's a better story to tell my daughter.

An Unending Love Affair.

I would like to think that most relationships start out this way:

Boy meets girl, girl catches his attention, he goes all out to get her attention and does everything in the books to win her heart. 

Girl may not be interested at first but may become deeply moved by the length he goes just to get her attention and girl may decide to have a relationship with boy.

Overtime they both form a bond through communication and fellowship. 

They learn about each other's likes and dislikes, hopes and aspirations, fears and pet peeves, past mistakes and failure and this knowledge helps the relationship to just grow. Then they may decide to seal it forever and continue in fellowship.

This is akin to God's motive of sending his son to die for us - John  3:16.

No human love can compare to his kind of love for us but I used that illustration to buttress the fact that Christ died and rose not just to save us from sin but to draw us to the Father.

The highest purpose of his birth, death and resurrection is not to save us from sin. It is to call us into fellowship.

'God is faithful, by whom ye were called into the fellowship of his son Jesus Christ our Lord' - 1 Corinthians 1:9.

As such believing in him and being saved is only a first step, communing with and knowing the Father is the ultimate goal.

We see then that Salvation from sin is a means to an end, the end here being 'Fellowship with God'.

Christ came to call us to oneness with God and to make us part of his family.

This is why John the beloved exclaimed 'behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God' - 1 John 3:1.

In time past the Israelites had to rely on the Priest to communicate with God as only he could enter the holy of holies but when the Temple Veil was torn in two upon Christ's death, we too got access to God and for the first time man could boldly stand before God. 

Now we can reach out to him from the confines of our closets needing no ceremonial garb and can also learn of him through his word.

The Christian life is an unending love affair with the Father. A relationship that only gets better with time, guiding all other relationships we have and producing fruits of souls.

Apostle Paul put it aptly when he proclaimed that 'nothing can separate us from the love of God' - Romans 8:38-39.

The Father's dream beyond redemption for you is that you 'know' him, experience him and understand his nature. 

Above all else he wants a relationship that no force can sever - what an honour to not just be loved but to be called into fellowship with God.

There is no higher calling than to have a relationship with God, this is the Father's dream.

He Claimed My Baggage

I was born in Church yet for a long time I was a slave to my flesh.
I grew up memorizing verses of scripture, observed religious rituals, did 'good' things, said the right words, emulated Church leaders but deep in my heart I felt a void.

I desperately needed salvation.

I continued in my 'good' deeds, indulged in oblation, practiced acts of righteousness and though I appeared clean in the eyes of men, I was entangled in sin.

As I grew older I yearned for love & acceptance and because my righteous way did not seem to help, I gave up altogether.

I still believed in God, still went to Church, paid my tithe, gave my offering, still praised and dance but my heart was far and when I lifted up my hands in worship I always felt unworthy as my heart was laden with guilt.

I was in Church but the Christ of the Church was not in me.

In my quest for one who would bear my burden, I turned to humans.
I thought if I hung with the right crowd I would be accepted but that didn't help either as just like me most of them had their baggage and were yet to find their identity.

I devoured self-help books written by big talkers who promised to help me discover myself but the feeling of satisfaction was often short-lived not because the message wasn't genuine but because I was building on a faulty foundation.

I tried to look up to Pastors too but more often than not, I was disappointed.
I realised that they are mere mortals and were like Physicians that also needed healing.
So as much as they wanted to help, they couldn't as it was a burden too heavy for them.

I searched in the wrong places and did things the wrong way - this left me frustrated until I found him.

No, he found me really - Jesus Christ did!

The Christ of the Church had been there all along but I never really reached out to him.

I was mired, helpless and hapless as I had thought I was the Captain of my fate.
He watched me struggle in vain as the weight of my baggage held me back.
I was like a ship without sail, going to and fro with no direction.
My ego and self esteem had been battered in the course of my quest for Salvation and validation still he wanted me.

His invitation to me was simple, 'Follow me and I will make you a Fisher of men'.
At first it was hard to comprehend, but I thought to just taste and see.
I handed everything to him and experienced a rebirth.

Oh what joy and light flooded my life!

All along I had searched in the wrong places. I had tried to be righteous but that wasn't my duty, all I had to do was believe and surrender.

I surrendered and he claimed the baggage of my sin and set me free from the shackles of my background.

I have come to the knowledge that my sin doesn't count anymore as the price was paid long ago on Calvary's Cross.

Jesus ransomed my soul when he walked the dusty streets through Golgotha to Calvary stripped and beaten bearing my sins and burden on him.
Though I was yet to be conceived he already reached out to me on that most memorable day in Calvary.

His last words were 'it is finished'.

Now I lift my hands in worship without guilt, the void in my heart is gone and the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead now dwells in me.

I live and love freely knowing that my baggage has been claimed because when he said 'it is finished' he meant it.

As we celebrate his resurrection I urge you to yield to his invitation and surrender all to him.

Happy Easter.

Shades of Grey : Life Isn't Always In Black and White

I have burned a lot of bridges. I have cut off communication with a lot of people and sometimes I go the whole nine yards of warning them to never communicate with me, deleting their numbers and blocking them on all media.

Sometimes it’s because of something they said or did. Now I hear you scoff ‘so you think you are superior to them’?...uh huh, well I’m only being honest.

I am sure also that I am not alone. You too have some point may have cut people off. You probably didn’t go the whole nine yards, maybe you just made a decision within yourself to never talk to them again or just ignore them till they are frustrated and the message hits home that ‘you are done with them’.

Sometimes we still communicate with certain people but deep down we are perplexed by them as we can’t fathom why they wouldn’t just do what ‘normal’ people do. Or at least do what we expect them to do or act the way we expect them to.

I guess it’s part of our human nature – judging people we don’t understand.

While I am not trying to say it is wrong or right, I have come to understand that we often see people through our lenses and judge them based on our own experiences. Life however isn’t always as we see it, there’s not always a yes and no answer to questions, we may never fathom why people act the way they do because we may never walk in their shoes.

Life isn’t always in black and white, sometimes and more often than not there are shades of grey.

As such seeing people always through our lenses may limit our view of the world and cause us to misunderstand, misconstrue and even hate them when in reality we only need to expend time to think about the experiences they have had and try to understand why they act the way they do.

Our backgrounds, education, culture and beliefs often influence us and determine what we hold in esteem – values, we can’t therefore expect a child that grew up in an environment where criminality is prevalent and only the fit survive, to act in the same way as a child who grew up in more stable environment where everyone looks out for the other. Their experiences will impact their lives.

The girl that was probably raped as a teenager and has had countless abortions or the girl that was forced to become a woman because she had to fend for herself and siblings may be seen as ‘immoral’ by everyone but maybe if she had known love and security she may have turned out differently.

This is not to say that we should condone immoral, violent, antisocial, or plain bad behavior but we may only need to be more tolerant of others to really understand them.

Sometimes we need to extend to others the same grace we think we deserve.

Truth is, you may never be able to influence people until they can trust that they can be themselves with you, then you can help them see that there is a ‘higher way’.

We are admonished by Christ in Matthew 7:1-2 to “not judge and criticize and condemn [others unfairly with an attitude of self-righteous superiority as though assuming the office of a judge], so that you will not be judged [unfairly].  For just as you [hypocritically] judge others [when you are sinful and unrepentant], so will you be judged; and in accordance with your standard of measure [used to pass out judgment], judgment will be measured to you”.

As I have grown older in life and in my walk with God I have learned and I’m still learning to be tolerant of people. You do not have to make everyone family but it will be easy to not judge them when they act in ways you deem ‘unbefitting’.

So the next time you think of deleting that number, warning them to never communicate with you, blocking them or just turning up your nose when they ‘act up’, take time to put yourself in their shoes – would you act differently?

Take time, expend energy to think it through always before you strike that match stick to burn that bridge – you may or may not need to walk over it sometime in future.

Life though isn’t always black and white, there are shades of grey in-between.

BOAZ: A LOVER AND REDEEMER

A friend recently sent links to Videos he thought I would gain insights from, they were messages by Bishop Brian Keith titled ‘Sanctified Sexuality’ and dealt with Sex and how God intended for it to be.

By the time I was through watching and listening intently to the messages, I had written 4 pages full of nuggets – it was a thoroughly researched sermon infused with humour.

Bishop Keith talked about connections between a man and a woman, noting that most supposedly divine connections are actually flesh connections masked with a cloak of spirituality.

Then he proceeded to talk about my second favourite love story – the story of Ruth and Boaz in the Bible.

He talked about the connection between Ruth and Boaz being divine and listed several roles that Boaz played in the life of Ruth – this is the crux of this post.

I decided again to study the story of Ruth and I learnt valuable lessons.

So here goes the story and the lessons…

Ruth was a young widow who remained loyal to her Mother In-law Naomi. Naomi lost both her sons and husband in a land they had relocated to in a bid to escape famine. After the death of her husband and sons, Naomi sought to return to her homeland – empty.

She bid her daughters-in-law (Ruth and Orpah) farewell but Ruth chose to stick with Naomi in spite of her protests that she returned to her family and start a new life. Ruth accompanied Naomi back to Bethlehem where she had to do ‘menial’ work to make ends meet.

She went out to pick leftover grains after reapers and happened to stop at a field that belonged to Boaz.

There she met Boaz – a man of high standing.

When Boaz saw her, he didn’t see a poor widowed foreigner but a noble and hardworking woman of excellence who had given herself to service – she worked to cater for her Mother in-law.

Boaz was extraordinarily kind to Ruth and here’s how the Bible records her reaction:

“Then she kneeled face downward, bowing to the ground, and said to him, “Why have I found favor in your eyes that you should notice me, when I am a foreigner?” Boaz answered her, “I have been made fully aware of everything that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, and how you have left your father and mother and the land of your birth, and have come to a people that you did not know before. May the Lord repay you for your kindness, and may your reward be full from the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.” Then she said, “Let me find favor in your sight, my lord, for you have comforted me and have spoken kindly to your maidservant, though I am not as one of your maidservants.” – Ruth 2:10-13.

Ruth found grace in his eyes.

Boaz protected Ruth by giving instructions to his men not to touch her.

He provided for her asking her to glean in his field and gave her more than enough to take home to Naomi.

Boaz became like a father to Ruth, he instructed not to go to any other field but to work with his maids so she would not be assaulted and asked his servants to purposely pull out stalks from the sheaves for her, leave them where she can find them and not rebuke her.

Boaz appreciated Ruth. He focused on her sterling qualities and confirmed that everyone in their town knew she was a woman of noble character – Ruth 3:11. He also invited to dine with him and drink from his Water Jars.

He was like a Priest to her, he blessed her praying God’s compensation and kindness upon her. He also gave her proper covering and security.

Ruth was a foreigner with a lot of needs and was also a Moabitess – an enemy tribe to Israel but Boaz handled her baggage with care. That is a man worth waiting for.

Ruth acted on Naomi’s instructions and approached Boaz to be her Kinsman-redeemer. She risked having her heart which was already broken by her husband’s death open to more heart break but Boaz did not take advantage of her vulnerability instead he blessed, reassured her and promised to redeem her.

Boaz kept his promise, he upheld her excellence, respected the law and his relatives and paid a price for her.

Ruth stood with her Mother-in-law bonded with her and fended for them both. That is strength.

Ruth didn’t go out of her way to get Boaz. She simply made her intentions known to him, stepped back and waited for him to play his part.

The story of Ruth and Boaz shows also that love isn’t always found once in a lifetime. Ruth lost her first husband but found Boaz again.

Separate yourself from the world, wait purposefully, mind your own business, be intentional in building relationships and continually seek to please God – lessons I learnt from Ruth.

Papa Solo, A Reminder That Your Children Are Watching

They called him 'Solo' which is an abbreviation of his name 'Solomon'. He was lanky and had this look that seemed to say 'dare me if you can'. 
Solo was the terror of our neighborhood, he bullied little children, stole from his Mum and insulted anyone that dared to call him to order. 
His father was a Carpenter who had children from several women.  He was popularly known as 'Papa Solo'.
Papa Solo chased anything in skirts and spent most evenings with his friends drinking, arguing and laughing. 
Papa Solo was not a drunk but he prized his evening get-together with his friends above anything else and God help you if you tried to interfere. 
Mama Solo tried it once. She wanted to tell him that Solo was being a Truant. That he had stayed away from school for over a week though he left home everyday under the pretext of going to school. 
Papa Solo asked her to wait till morning and when she insisted that he paid attention to what she was saying, she got a 'slap of life'. 
You know the kind that leaves one speechless and causes the head to spin making you see stars...yes, that kind. 
The slap made Mama Solo dumb for at least 60secs, she just stood there with tears streaming down her face. 
When she was finally able to talk, all she could mutter was 'na God go punish you, I go carry my children run leave you' and she stormed off, defeated and embarrassed. 

You see Papa Solo was comfortable enough to care for his family, he wasn't a 'poor man'. He was a Landlord and was friendly to his tenants and neighbours but he failed in his duty as a Father. 

All these happened years ago and Solo has grown into a man. He is now a Bus Conductor and has 2 children from 2 different girls.

He has grown to be like his Father.

The Bible clearly instructs us to 'train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it' - Proverbs 22:6, the roles of fathers in the lives of children can therefore not be over emphasized.

Fathers are influencers.

Fathers are the first examples for daughters of what a man ought to be and are role models for their sons. 
Experts have said that most women look out for men who have similar traits as their dads when they start dating while the boys oftentimes grow up to be just like their fathers. As such if a Father is patient, caring and loving chances are his son would be just that while a daughter will look out for such traits in a man. 
It is therefore not enough to birth children, you ought to have a vision for how their lives will be and be there to guide and help them live it out. 
English Philosopher John Locke opined that the mind at birth is like a Tabula Rasa i.e. a blank slate as such whatever is imprinted on it stays. 
That is the power a Father has, he leads, influences and can decide how his child's life will turn out. This should not be taken for granted.
A child who feels the protection and presence of his father will definitely be more secure, confident and stable than a child who never had a good father figure. 
You therefore have to stand up for your children, pray for them even while they are in the womb, speak into their lives, protect them, keep your promises to them and instruct them in the right path.
Know that children learn by observation and imitation as such they will do more of what you do and not what you say...live out what you say you believe. 
Remember that boys will be boys and girls will be girls until someone teaches them to be more - be that person for your child or someone else will.

Believing The Best Of Others

You have probably heard, read or even used the phrase ‘once bitten twice shy’.

To be honest, I have hurt people countless times with my words, actions and inactions intentionally and unintentionally. I too have been hurt. I have also met people who have been hurt, cheated on, betrayed, abandoned and rejected.

The result of this cycle of hurt and betrayal is that we become cynical and sometimes paranoid. We audition people either knowingly or unknowingly to see if they deserve our trust before we accept them – it’s our defense mechanism at work.

I personally have played the role of a cynic one time too many that I prided myself in expecting the worst from people so there’s no surprise when they hurt me. This isn’t because I’m a pessimist, it’s because I have subconsciously built a shield that I considered impenetrable until a person has proven themselves to be trust worthy.

Truth though is that no matter how much a person proves themselves, they will still err because of the fallible nature of man. I too still err, we are humans.

I had a conversation with a friend I was introduced to sometime last year and in the course of our conversation, I noted that I expect people to act up because its human nature and I’m usually not surprised when they do. He responded that “it’s best to believe the best of people until they prove otherwise”. This stuck with and still reverberates in my mind, I went on to read articles and now I am sharing my opinion – strictly mine – on believing the best of others.

One thing I have learned is that this expectation of the worst of others is me actually yielding to the lies that have come with the hurt and betrayal. The protective shields and walls I have built is in reality layers of hurts.

I learned also that the only way to let go of these layers of past hurt and betrayal is by learning to trust and have faith in people, just loving them at first sight. Now this isn’t so easy and that’s where a knowledge of God’s word comes in.

The Apostle Paul writing to the Corinthians about love stated that ‘Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things’ 1 Corinthians 7:14. That is love’s work, believing and hoping for the best in others and where they err, love endures till they get it right.

This may be hard to do but it is possible if we obey the Golden rule ‘do unto others as you want others to do unto you’ – Matthew 7:12. Knowing then that we are not perfect, we will be able to tolerate the imperfections of others.

We must also learn to not put our trust in man but in God, then you will never be disappointed.

Believing the best of others isn’t being naïve rather it is having a positive disposition towards others. Trusting them to act right, being patient with them when they don’t and helping them till they get it right. It loving others as we want to be loved and extending the courtesy with which we hope to be treated. It is seeing others through God’s eyes.

And where you fear that they may turn around and hurt you if you are trusting remember that ‘in all things God works for the good of them that love him’. The Holy Spirit gives us the gift of discernment and God upholds, protects and defends us in our dealing with others.

So set your heart free, believe the best of people, bask in grace and extend same to others, you will not only draw out the good in men but live freely.

The Need To Impress

For most of us it starts early and we indulge in it until it becomes a habit – the need to impress, to fit in and to be accepted no matter what.

Back in secondary school – I attended an all-girls boarding school – the struggle to be seen as cool was real. Some girls told blatant lies – imagine someone saying they had a refrigerator that is remote controlled and all you had to do was press a button and you would have whatever you wanted – yes I know it’s childish but she was a child who wanted acceptance and maybe reverence. Some others borrowed just to keep up appearance and fit into the clique of supposed big girls. Then when the time to buy gifts during celebrations like birthdays, graduation, Valentine’s day came, some went all out spending more than their fees to buy gifts just to be talked about. There were those that claimed to be from wealthy homes when their parents were regular folks working really hard to cater to their needs, and there were those who changed their names when they got to school just to be seen as posh (I wonder how your name makes you posh). Trust me the struggle was real.

Then I got into the University and the game was taken up a notch. There were girls who dated men they would not touch with a pole if there was no hope of financial rewards and the money gotten from their hard labour goes into what? You guessed right…clothes, shoes, hair, phones – the aim is to impress.

I still see it every day. I have a colleague that I try to not compliment because that would result in her telling me the price of everything she has on – this unsolicited information is mainly given out of the need to impress.

So many people get neck deep in debt in a bid to fund a lifestyle they ordinarily cannot afford, some spend money they do not have on ceremonies that can be done modestly, indulge their kids in lifestyles that can't be sustained and spend money they do not have – because they feel the need to impress.

I think it is human to want to look your best, live your best and be seen as successful but when this is borne out of the need to impress then it becomes a challenge.

I started by saying for most of us the need to impress starts early. Maybe as a child you only got attention and approval when you did something noteworthy and so you may think you constantly need to impress others to get accepted.

For others, they may have suffered lack for long and so when they are finally able to afford some of the things they hitherto couldn’t afford, they feel the need to let the world know they have ’arrived’ or just seek validation by flaunting what they have.

For some others it’s the pressure to fit in especially in today’s society where people portray fake lifestyles on Social Media, blogs, Magazines etal. There may be other reasons but whatever the cause is, the need to impress is oftentimes the result of a low sense of self-worth.

It is good to pamper yourself, care for yourself and celebrate your success. It is just not healthy to constantly live to impress others as you lose your sense of self and may become a selfish and narcissistic person – people may pretend to like you but may not really like you.

If you always feel the need to impress others then it could be that you are yet to ‘accept yourself as you really are’. You must take time to understand you, accept you and love you, instead of projecting the persona you think the world wants to see. Trust me you will experience greater peace.

Also you ought to learn to do things for yourself and not to gain approval. Do you, be you and be okay with it even if others are not.

There’s this joke that you can’t please everyone because you are not Jollof rice…funny but true. You really can’t please everyone because you will only wear yourself out if you try so learn to say NO, if you have to.

Lastly it’s important to note that what others think of you does not really matter so long as you are at peace with yourself. I am not asking you to be insensitive to others but you shouldn’t let their opinion determine how you live, who you love, what you do, what you eat, where you live etal.

I have had my fair share of struggles in a bid to fit in and be accepted but i have come to learn that the people you try to impress oftentimes do not matter and may not really care about you as they are busy with the challenges in their lives. Besides if have to impress someone to gain their acceptance, then you are better off without them.

So sing your song and forget about who’s listening, express yourself whether they applaud you or not, live to please God, seek his approval, Keep Company with him and you will learn to live freely.