Go BIG or Go HOME!

Will an extremist mindset not set in, resulting in perfectionist tendencies? Where do we draw the line in becoming insensitive and losing out on other aspects of life? In breaking the rules one mostly acts before thinking but will there be repercussions we may never recover from? 

These were my questions and comments after an opening speech at a meeting I participated in. It was a review meeting and as the name implies, it is geared towards evaluation of work done within a programmatic quarter, actions taken, how they have served to achieve targets set, sharing best practices and brain storming on what needs to be done to improve work and quality as well as ensure sustainability of a given project.

People are called out on performance issues, sometimes voices are raised, methods are scrutinized, egos get bruised, good work is commended, people fight, make love - fight again and make love again - or not, but ultimately the goal remains growth for the organization which will in turn mean growth for all. 

So my questions were some of those going on in my head as the Speaker delivered his speech titled ‘Go BIG or Go HOME’. 

I pondered as he spoke and eventually asked my questions when he asked if anyone had comments or questions. The nod of other colleagues as I spoke showed that they too had probably been thinking the same. He noted that with success most times rationalization and sensitivity takes the back burner as growth and achievement leaves no time for being emotional with decision making. 

This mentality forces one to be creative and to utilize every second maximally because it is in the maximizing of the moment that we are able to make sense of the hours, days, weeks, months and years. 

“What then becomes of family?” Another colleague asked. “Would it be worth it to win at the detriment of family and have no one to share success with?” 

“How do you find the balance with work and family?” He added.

“Family will be fine especially as going big also means winning on all fronts.” This was the Speaker’s response to the questions posed by my colleague. 

As the conversation went on I recalled recent conversations with mentors and contemporaries about finding a balance with work - and life. 

The consensus has been that once one gets into work, it becomes life too and trying to find a balance will leave one burned out or even frustrated because the overlap is inevitable. 

Work will always be there and may sometimes take away the time that should be given to family, friends, spiritual activities, social activities & others (clubs, charitable causes et al). 

The best way to go therefore to find this balance, is in not delineating work from life by accepting that work is life too because more often than not it defines life, and even gives it the value that we desire by paying for the cost of living. 

Knowing this helps to create a different perspective and let’s us embrace work as well as incorporate it into other aspects of life. 

For example, I function as a Daughter, Sister, Friend, Aunt et al and having this consciousness helps me to take on these roles and to switch between my responsibilities with grace. Adding Colleague or Team member to the list of roles I take on will birth the balance that I desire and work will become life too.

Then I will be able to plan better and not feel guilty or inadequate to handle work and life. So instead of feeling guilty on days when I cannot meet the demands of one of my responsibilities, I reflect and seek ways to improve and succeed. This brings the balance.

This balance will however be only meaningful and gratifying if I win at work by leaving no room for mediocrity and choosing to ‘Go BIG or Go HOME’. 

But am I willing to be knowingly irrational and insensitive in my quest for success? 

Will I intentionally kick or even cut off another human’s balls so I can score a goal? 

Can I be excellent and still be humane? 

Perhaps ‘yes’, I can choose to not settle and still be sensitive. I can be rational and humane but still be known as the one with a knack for excellence. 

The one who separates feelings from logic when it comes to work because they understand that emotions do not win races. The one that would not stop until the goal is achieved and who like Apostle Paul is focused on “pressing towards the mark for the prize of the high calling”.

Maybe I will have days when no one and nothing else matters but the ball and the net in front of me. For as Nelson Mandela said “there is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” I can do my work and still have personal relationships thrive.

So like the Speaker, I say to you too ‘Go BIG or Go HOME’ but strive to always check to ensure you do not sacrifice family, health and life in the process. 

Be determined to go BIG and I hope this determination becomes the yeast that causes you to rise and rise until the lamb in you becomes a lion that roars so loudly that the world has no choice but to stop and listen.